The Enemies

Rufus

Rhea

The large grey room is lit with million small lights installed into the walls and the ceiling. It is split in half by a huge window, the large displays the size of the dining table stretch from wall to wall right next to it. They upload the data, and the messages appear every few minutes with the results. Reminding me of the ants. The system operates on its own.

I stare at the screens and chew violently on my lip. Glad to be alone, I pace the room, then stop and stare at the displays again, then sit on a chair and when it makes me even antsier jump back to my feet and start pacing again. Hamster on a wheel.

On the opposite side, separated from me by a large window, is Rufus, strapped to the chair, in white robes and slippers. Eyes red from anxiety, hands shaking violently. His teeth clatter so loudly, I can hear it all the way through the turned-on microphone. Rufus is terrified.

'He shared all he knew about upcoming Drellian operations. He even told there was a new laser technology used to protect the important positions. A human being so rotten and frightened for his own life, he betrays his country completely. He told me everything he knew and even mentioned things he suspected. And I didn't even get to torture him. Not physically, at least,' I hear the familiar voice behind my back. I did not hear Joolls enter.

'Yeah... I am not sure if he is worth so much trouble we had to go through. My father wants him executed, though, like the rest of the Drellians from that mission.'

They got intel from somewhere that there was a special unit inside of Karm. They had a list of last names, potential members. One of these names was Flint. My farther is inexistent, but I enrolled as an ordinary soldier, and of course, those morons targeted all the Flints they could find except for the right one. So technically, it is me who was the reason for Tadgh's death.

Joolls won't answer. Just stands by my side. When he finally speaks, his voice is tender and kind.

'Before I entered the room, my certainty in the simple fact that Rufus should be killed was unquestionable. When I look at him now ... He will become a new name on the list of killings committed by Karmians, by me. I was waiting for this moment for a long time, never doubting the fact that I would rejoice when Rufus is executed. But would I? Would you?'

We stare at each other. We used to do it in school when we landed a complicated problem. It was one of the small things that we've done together. Being nutcases that we are, it helps to do what's right. Baby steps to humanity, to kindness. Now we have to solve a moral dilemma without a person who always knew the correct answer. Or better, for that person.

'Happiness is not a word I would use. No joy or gloating either. To be honest, I no longer care if he lives or dies.'

'Very unsettling, isn't it?'

'Very.'

'I feel like a Drellian.' Joolls lets out a groan and throws his head back, which makes me chuckle.

I know what I feel – shame, overpowering, and mortifying. I chew on my lip so viciously that suddenly, I taste blood on my tongue. Still I cannot take my eyes of Rufus, who is still sitting on the chair across the window. I used him to justify all my killings, my irrational wild behavior, my incredibly feral actions. I used him as an excuse for everything I had done during this past year when I had no right to, when what I needed to do was honor the memory of a man who loved me dearly and who was my friend till the last breath.

Something beeps, and one of the carbon black displays starts uploading data. Letters form words, words build into paragraphs, flouding the screen. But life is never black and white, is it? Somewhere between the coal black and snow white is kindness and love, compassion and benevolence. Tadgh saw it everywhere. Am I capable of finding them? As if I were blind, I fail to see them. All the time. As if the time froze and I am stuck in that dark vehicle with hands brushing mine and stale air, suffocating me with every breath.

'He gave the coordinates to the Drellians. The Karmian children were killed by mistake. However, the Drellian nursery home was hit on purpose. Rufus got a direct order from Heston Candred to do so. To spice things up a little. Rufus is guilty,' I tell him.

Joolls shrugs.

'Fine. He has blood on his hands. Go, and dirty yours some more for him.'

I slowly shake my head. 'I won't.'

'No matter how many times we get to kill people responsible, we will never bring Tadgh back. We killed those responsible. But it was also wrong. After all, violence is violence. Karmians are no better then Drellians. We are just told that we are.'

Joolls is unembellished. No sugarcoating the truth or tiptoeing around it.

'No beating around the bush like always,' I reply with a snort.

'I can't do it.'

The sour taste of shame is exactly what he feels. I have it too. This is an apology from Joolls, and I turn to face him.

'I hate him, I do, but I don't hate him enough to kill him. I know we agreed, and I am the one failing you...' he says. Sometimes his light grey eyes remind me of smoke when he is particularly discontent. Now, however, they look more like clouds. White and blissful. His gaze is troubled, though, as Joolls is the only man who is uncomfortable to hurt my feelings.

'Neither can I.'

I swallow. Joolls sighs in relief and closes his eyes.

'Maybe we could honor Tadgh's memory in some other more appropriate way,' I say and offer a hesitant smile. 'Maybe win this war for him.'

He pokes me in the ribs, then hugs me.

'So much for the assassins, huh?'

His voice is just a whisper into my ear. The warmth of his body makes me relax, and I close my eyes, grateful for his proximity, for his comfort and peace of mind.

Rufus is still there. Our hate is gone. As if it left the room, I feel relieved to be alone with Joolls. Right on cue, another display brightens and starts uploading something new, and there will always be something. New information, new victims, new tasks.

'Let's have a day off. You and me. I think we have done our fair share of manslaughter. They can take care of Rufus themselves if General Flint wants. I'll tell Rockwell.'

I smirk, anticipating Will's reaction.

We both leave the room without throwing one glance at the man, sitting behind the window, terrified, small, and weak. We simply quit. We will fight among our fellow Karmians, but for us, the battle is over.

Joolls walks lazily beside me, hands in his pockets, and a sad smile on his face. Suddenly he stops, and his eyes sparkle with the familiar mischievous light.

'We eat now because you never eat. We get Moneree back tomorrow, and then we are out of cardinals. I am a little scared of those people, to be honest. Deal?'

'Ambitious. But, yes. Deal.'

I hug him again. Joolls is my family. There are two of us now. Instead of three. And we made peace with it.

Peace is another thing that used to escape me.Though I start feeling it through other people now. Joolls, Rockwell andundoubtedly Oden Candred.