Say When

E P I L O G U E

I held up my phone and panned across the room slowly.

"This is my bed. This is my desk. This is my--"

"I know what stuff is Bri!" Rita yelled through the phone. I flipped the screen back toward me.

"You said you wanted a tour. Enjoy the damn tour!" I pointed a finger at her. I continued giving her a tour of my dorm room. I was at Columbia. Finally here, it was all pretty surreal. It had only been a few days but I'd already signed up for the Literature and Theater clubs and my desk was already filled with books I'd borrowed from the library. I had jumped into the collegiate life with both feet. Both feet and a relatively clear conscience. The day before I left I drained my bank account and sent all the money I made skimming as an anonymous donation to the Young Scholars Alliance. I figured it couldn't hurt to help some other kids from my hood make it to college too.

My roommate Lori giggled across the room without lifting her head from her text book. She was a little dot of a girl from the Bible Belt who played soccer and studied hard. I shot her a smile. She was going to have to get used to this. And if she thought Rita was a force over FaceTime, wait until she came to visit for Thanksgiving break. I continued with a tour of my side of the room and Rita did the same. Classes just started yesterday and to say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. I didn't know if I could match the pace of this place but having little chats like this with my bestie brought me back to neutral so I could push on.

"How's our Lucky doing?" Rita asked.

"My Lucky is fine. Just got new brakes and saving up for paint job."

My car. Yep, I got my license. For all the time I spent in the passenger's seat and let other people drive I'd finally slid behind the wheel myself. The day I got my license, my father dangled the keys of his ten year old Hyundai in my face. A gift from him to me made possible by that huge contract he was working on. Which had let to three other in the pipeline. He was taking care of us in a way that all of us wanted. With his time and attention. And he took care of himself by buying a brand new car. I graciously took the hand me down.

"Perfect. Come pick me up, I'm lonely." Rita teased.

A text came through my phone. I read it and couldn't help the smile that came across my face.

"I gotta go, Ri. Love you and please for the love of God, get a writing tutor, like, now! Don't wait until the end of the semester." I begged her with a pouty face.

"Nah, I'm not going to be one of those people who go to college and change. Imma keep it 100! Well...85. That's like a B+ right?"

"Bye, Ri."

"Okay, bye!" She dragged out the high pitched 'e' before I ended the call. I put my phone down on the dresser and checked my hair in the mirror, running my fingers across my new short crop. New chapter, new hair. My big chop was clipped low in the back with full curly bangs sweeping across my face. It was a little dramatic. I loved it. I felt like a new person, even in the midst of reconciling everything that had transpired over the months prior. A knock on the door came. I yanked the door open.

"Hey, Bri Bri." My mom stood in the doorway. I must admit, now that she was back to herself, I was a spitting image of her.

"Hi, Ma." I told her. She stepped through the doorway and ran her hand through my short curlyless tresses.

"I still have to get used to this." She said. I nodded and shooed her hands away.

"I know, I know." I'd heard the same thing over and over from everyone. Why'd you cut your hair? I needed a tangible representation of my change. It was fine if no one understood. She held my chin in her hand.