Dust to Dust...Ashes to Ashes:

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Recce's pov:

It's been weeks since Dora's death. I still remember that day like it's yesterday. It still kills me. I should've seen something was wrong. I should've realized that she needed me. She left me. Our parents left me. Josh left me. John left me. Jess left me. Everyone leaves at some point.
I'm just glad John was around to help make it easier. I broke up with Jess a few days after Dora left me. I knew she had hated Jess and now I see why. Dora's death didn't faze him. He moved on pretty well with his life. I later found out that he was doing drugs and that he was having sex orgies with Tommy. Wow Jesse was such a lying, cheating scum bag. I had my OP last week. I almost died in the theatre, Lord knows that's all I wanted. John had been my pillar of strength since Dora's death. His been uplifting me and bring me hope. I let go of Dora's ashes yesterday.
She once told me that when she does she wants to be cremated. I did just that.
I had a memorial service for her and some small girls came up to me and apologized. For what I have no idea but I later found out Dora killed herself because of depression, due to bullying. My poor baby. I never got the chance to see her grow up, to see her on her wedding day, to have her be my flower girl for my wedding, to see her succeed. My baby! Why'd you leave me?! Why do people never talk about the problems they going through until it's too late. I should practice what I preach. My life is full of brokenness and emptyness. My life revolves around death and failure and I just don't know. Maybe I'm not worthy of love. Maybe I'm not worthy of happiness. John is coming over later to help me pack up Dora's things, she wanted some things to go to charity, we'll have to sort that out.
The death of a loved one leaves an open, empty void in one's heart. I wish she had spoken up. I wish she told me how she feels. I wish she would've been brave enough to stay alive. She took the coward way out! She left me! They all left me! Even my brain tried to leave. I'm useless, worthless, ugly and fat and undeserving and undesirable. I'm not worthy of happiness.

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