Shattered Fate

Chapter 22

Zhela
I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't even recognize myself.Good job me  for going out of my way to turn me into a different person. I had done alot:Cut my hair next to bald, squeezed myself with belts to reduce my normal size and well I wore lots and lots of make-up. I didn't know what grade of skank I was trying to pull, but it was a whole new level and I liked it. To complete my disguise mission, I wore the blue contact lenses Patrick bought me.

I wanted to get my butt out there so that I could go and get some supplies and iron for my baby . I had asked Patrick to help me but I didn't know what the heck was up with that guy. why was he starving me? It was his baby too.

After applying bloody Mary lipstick until it was dripping, I took my fedora and keys to some old track Patrick had been driving around. For some creepy reasons he left it behind today, when he kept insisting that it was a decoy. Truth is , He was a man of class, a man who valued everything extravagant and class that came with it. Look at me

"You only live once" had been his motto since he was a boy. Every body knew that about him that was why they would not expct him in such a truck. I wouldn't too if I didn't live with him.

I finally shut the lights and left for the  store,which I still did not know how to find. We were in a whole new place and I had been pretty much caged in since we got there. But I had to maneuver my way around, it was better than dying of hunger. I was still too pretty to go down with bones jutting out my neck.

Here goes nothing. I finally made it out and into the old death trap. It has no GPS, no nothing.
****
"Where the hell have you been?" I rolled my eyes entering our small kitchen. Was he seriously just standing there like an ugly girl in the prom and interrogating me instead of helping me get the bags inside? "I am talking to you, you little bitch, where did you go?" He hurled storming after me. I quietly put the bag on the counter and turned, only ti find him in my face.

"And I heard you. I just figured that you would use your eyes and see that I had shopping bags, implying I went shopping. We needed food in this dumpster and, I used case thank you very much. " I had it upto here with all of them.

"Who did you talk to? You turned me in, didn't you? "I sighed. He was loosing his mind. I mean it wasn't the first time he had violently accused me of snitching on him, even though I was always with his sorry ass. His paranoia was spiraling out of control." Speak or I will beat it out of you!"

" I didn't turn you in, you go down, I go down too. Remember? "I yelled before sidetracking and climbing the stairs. The only reason I came back late was because I drove like a million miles on the wrong side of our home.

" You know what, I have no use to you anymore, you are just a traitor, just like Dean, just like Tess. You..."that was the last thing I heard before I was endlessly rolling down the stairs.

Everything was fuzzy when I stopped rolling and I remember him standing over me looking like a demon. He had no remorse, no mercy at all." I am giving you a last chance, I just want you to watch me wed Sharon by force and you will be our minister. "he said smiling, before disappearing.

I  shut my eyes trying to compartmentalize the pain and shove it some place I barely visited but instead, all I got were memories of me being victimized by that snake. It went back along way and I was tired. I was exhausted of being the one crapped on. I let Patrick use me to gis heart's content. I allowed him to treat me like I was not human, but not anymore. There was no hope for me so I was going to make sure, I took them down with me. As many people as possible to. Starting with this diabolical son of a bitch. And No, I was not going to turn him in, I was going to make him watch as I tear Sharon into bits. That would be enough for a start, right before I put a bullet in each of their heads.

Groaning, I got up and limped to the room that I had ignored earlier. My things were still up in his room. Since we move, he had treated me like a slave. He insisted I keep my things in his room, sleeping in his bed and forced me to wear Sharon's clothes. They hardly fit but he insisted. He starved me to make sure I fit.

I was done.

I was tired of crying.
I just wanted to put my body on something soft. I could not believe he just shoved me down the stairs for that woman. He knew I was pregnant. I know I disguised it so well with the belts but it was still there. I hadn't had time to get the abortion he so wanted and once or twice he had offered to do it for me, but I refused. It was dangerous and the environment was not conducive so safe abortion. Knowing him, he probably wanted to shove his hands inside me to know what it felt like. He was sick.

He loathed every woman for not being Sharon. His obsession with her was turning him into a monster. Let us just see what happens if she was taken away from him.

I got into my room, sat on the bed and tried to cry, but not a single tear came out. I was broken beyond repair. I was totally damaged goods and you know what?I had accepted it.

I just needed time to strategize. They all were going to pay with interest . They were going to know the ire of a scornful woman.

Suddenly, I felt my stomach hurting. It was so bad that I thought the baby was chewing my insides out. I breathed in and out, but the pain didn't go away. That was when I realized the pool of blood on the bed. I hadn't realized that I was bleeding, but when I did due to intense stomach pain, I knew what was happening. I bad lost another baby. This time, I didn't abort it, it was ripped out of me.

Sobbing, I shambled to the bathroom, and stood under the cold water, with all my clothes on. I hugged myself looking at the floor. I looked as the bloody water hit the floor then flow into the drain. It hurt my heart, but at least my body was numb. My eyes shut for a moment and I saw everything. The death of my first baby:I had only joined campus and Patrick and I were just fooling around. We had been bitch  about how Dean would not stop being torn between Naomi and Sharon.Patrick wanted him to pick Naomi. He made me believe that he hated her too. The way he spelt out her name, I should have known it was love. Not hatred. Being naive, I had let him in, believing that we were kindred spirit. Weeks later, I drunk too much, passed out, when I woke up, I was in the school clinic. Then I was told later that I had lost my baby.

I wasn't hurt or anything. I rejoiced. I was too young to support a child.

Then Jason happened. I lied to him that it was someone truck driver's , because I didn't want to end up bleeding in the hospital. I tried pin it on Dean, but he was always brilliant. Once I gave birth and Dean had deserted me, I told Patrick the truth. Of course he did not believe me, he made us take three DNA tests and they all came back positive. I thought he would be happy but instead, he was angrier than ever. He blamed me for keeping it and out of frustration, asked me, no, ordered me to pin it on the poor driver. The guy was too in love with me to care.

Now I lost another baby. My senses came back when I realized how deeply I had sank my nails in my body. It was painful enough to exceed the numbness of the ice water.

My teeth rattling, I pulled myself out of the shower and turned on the hot water. With alot of pain, I Striped out of my clothes and entered under the water. I washed myself with the ancient soap I had found there, grabbed a towel and wrapped around my body and exited the bathroom.

I opened the closet and cringed at how neat it was. His bedroom upstairs was a pigsty compared to this room. It made me wonder how the hell we even found ourselves there. He said it belonged to his friend but I knew the guy, his ugly personality attracted nothing but enemies. Only Dean was messed uo enough to be his friend.

Enough with worrying my pretty head, I tried to catch some sleep. It never happened. I couldn't shut my eyes yet I was too weak to get up. Too tired to cry anymore. I didn't have any of my electric gadget, and I had to blend my banner phone when Dean busted my ass.

That would have been the perfect time for stalking. I wanted to see Dean, What was I going to stalk him with?

I  never had to do that before, because Patrick made everything happen, but now that I know they both want Sharon , I am going to have to do it on my own and show them what pain really was. I just had to get over that moment of frailty.

"See you soon Sharon. "I fell asleep with that on my mind.