good girl • (lrh)

39

"Is it okay if I go in alone?" I turned to Ashton, talking quickly as to not disturb anyone. His face held a kind smile, "Of course, I'll wait out here."

"Thank you." I started at the door for a moment longer. Finally I pushed opened the door, gasping at the sight in front of me.

I can feel my eyes brimming with tears as Luke comes into my view. There are many tubes and wires running across his body, all connected to different machines. My hand reaches up, covering my mouth as the shock sets in. I knew he had been hurt, and I knew he wouldn't look great, but this was all too much. Just last week, we were having a wonderful night, and now here we are. Things change so quickly and I hate it.

Despite my shaky hands, I approach his hospital bed, gently grabbing his hand and rubbing the pad of my thumb across the back. My eyes drift to his face, there are a few scuffs and scratches littering the area, but he still looks just as perfect as usual.

"I'm so sorry this happened." I whisper softly, leaning down to place a kiss on his hand. "I love you, you know? You mean a lot to me." I speak my thoughts, hoping somehow, he can hear me. I stand for a moment longer, my eyes drifting across different parts of his body, I notice many different scratch marks, which I can only assume are from glass. I begin to think about how he must have felt in that moment, was he scared, terrified even? Was he in a lot of pain? That was a stupid question, of course he was. I hate seeing him like this, and I hope he wakes up soon. "I'll let you rest now, okay?" I wait for a response even though I know he's asleep and there won't be one. "Love you." I whisper one final time, before making my way out of the room. 

As soon as I shut the door behind me, the tears I was holding in rush down my cheeks. I let them flow for at least a minute before I collect myself, or attempt to. I brush the back of my hand across my cheek, then beneath my nose. I look around to see if I can locate Ashton. I spot him a bit further down the hallway, talking on the phone. I watch as he holds the phone to his ear, tears staining his cheeks, just like they had mine.

Finally our eyes connect and I watch him shove his phone back into his pocket after saying goodbye. I hear his footfall as he approaches me. "You can go see him now, I think I'll call my mom even though it's late." I nod my head towards the taller man.

"I hope you're alright, bird. I know this is a rough situation but you've got people who support you and love you." Ashton says sweetly, patting my back as he walks past.

I give him a week smile before stepping down the hall and retrieving my phone from my pocket. I press call on my moms contact and listen to it ring in my ear. Finally the ringing stops and I'm met with her voice. "Hey sweetie! How are you? It's a bit late." I glance at the clock on the wall above me, it reads '12:37pm'.

"I'm sorry to call you so late, I'm just a bit worried about Luke?" My voice trails off at the end and I'm sure what to say further than that. I know my mother is a busy woman and I want to cause her stress. "Oh, what's making you worry exactly?" I can hear the concern in her voice now and I hesitate before answering. "There was.." I take in a sharp breath, "There was an accident and he had emergency surgery." I let out the breath I had just taken, letting the tears I was holding back roll down my puffy cheeks. I hear movement in through the phone on my mother's end and wait for her to say something, anything.

"What happened exactly?" She says softly. I wish I could hug my mom right now. I wish she was here and not thousands of miles away. I feel so alone in this moment. I can't speak at this point, tears rush down my cheeks and i sniffle. "Honey, talk to me please." Mom pleads and I attempt to calm my nerves. We both sit in silence for a moment before I speaks. "He was-" I sniffle again, "-in a car accident." I let out a weep, brushing the tears from my cheeks, but they continue to come. "I don't know what happened, I don't know mom!" I shout, my earlier frustrations resurfacing. It's true, I don't know what happened. I don't know the whole story, I don't know how this will end. I let out a sigh, "I'm sorry for shouting." I whisper into my phone, realizing I shouldn't take my frustrations out on my mother.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here. I'll be here no matter what happens." My mother attempts to comfort me, it's a nice gesture, but it's not helpful. "He's lung was impaled-" I rub my eyes for a moment, "-by a huge piece of glass from the windshield." I hear my mother take in a breath. "He had surgery, and now he's resting." My voice is shaky as I finish my sentence. Talking about this, only makes it more real. I wish this were a dream, a stupid nightmare that I could wake up from. When I'd wake up, Luke would be right there, holding me and kissing me. This wasn't a dream though. This wasn't something I could wake up from, no it was real. It was real and painful and scary. I have no idea what could happen 10 minutes from now, or even 10 seconds from now.

"Ava, are you still there, honey?" I hear my mother's voice and I snap back to reality. "Yes, I'm here." I reply softly, feeling defeated at this point. "I'm going to look for a flight back home, alright? I think you need your momma right now." Her voice is caring as she speaks and I smile a small, and meek smile. "I do, I miss you." I chat with my mom for a moment longer before I hear something that makes me pause. "I'll call you back later, I love you." I quickly end my conversation, listening for the sound again, and when realize what it is, it terrifies me to the core.

Ashton. That sounds like Ashton, shouting. "Help! Somebody. Please!" His voice sounds frantic and broken. My feet carry me quickly down the hall, but it feels like I'm running in slow motion. Something is wrong, I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. Something is horribly wrong, and I don't want to admit what I think it is. I can't say it. It would break me.

As I'm midway down the hallway, I watch as nurses rush onto the room and push Ashton to the side. I finally meet up with him, "What happened?" My voice comes out shaky and frantic. "Tell me!" I shout as he stares at me. "Ava, I-" he takes in a shaky breath. "The machines started beeping and then I noticed he was bleeding, I don't know!" Both of us a crying now, I attempt to push my way past the nurses. For a second I get a glimpse of my lover and I let out a wrap. I can see the stitches on his chest, covered in blood, more blood than their should be. "Help him, please!" I plead with the nurses as they move quickly to work. "Luke! Don't leave me, please! You're so strong." My emotions seem to get the rest of me as I can't stop crying and screaming.

"Get them out of here, now!" One of the nurses demands. I'm pushed out of the room, followed by the door slamming in my face. "No! This can't be happening!" I shout, "I need him, he's everything to me." I whimper. I can't stop crying, I can't. I don't know how I've got any tears left to cry, but they just keep coming. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look back to see Ashton. "Let's go sit down, bird." He says softly, soothing my shoulder with his fingers. I don't want to, but I follow him back to the waiting area. We sit for what feels like hours, but when I look at my phone, only minutes have passed. I can't think, I can't sink in on a single thought, my mind is running wild.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" I whisper, not daring to look at the man sat beside me. I don't think I could face anyone right now. "I hope so." He replies.

A few more minutes pass by, before a nurse greets us in the waiting area, finally. "Hello, I have news." The nurse says, giving a smile that I'm unable to read. I perk up in my seat, hoping for good news, but the next sentence I heard broke me.

"We tried everything we could, but he just lost too much blood."

I let out a sob, my eyes pleading with the nurse in front of me. I hoped she would tell me that she was joking, but of course she wouldn't. I still hoped this was a sick, twisted nightmare, but it wasn't. This was real, and he's gone. He's gone and I'm alone.