Setting Me On Fire

10

Mistake

My eyes open and close a few times before I bring my hand to my eye to rub myself awake. A small yawn escapes me, and I sit up in my bed to stretch, and roll my neck, as I did, that's when I notice the guy on my balcony smoking.

A bunch of questions fly into my brain. Who was that, and how did he get into my room? I looked throughout the room for any clue as to what happened last night when my eyes move to the ground and see brown pants and a white turtle neck, I turn back to the guy in realization. 

Alexander.

We slept together last night, I let him melt me into a puddle of goo. I blink and put my head in my palms with a low groan. Last night was a mistake, I shouldn't have done that. I was too aroused, the wine was the poison that made me want him. 

What did I do?

I looked back up at him, he was flicking the last bit of the ashes of his cigarette before he peers past the window and into the room where he meets my eyes. I glance away and wrap the coversheet around my naked body so I can get ready for work. I walk into my closet, and grab a brown plaid tweed crop jacket and matching split hem skirt. As you can already see, I love split bottoms.

I grab a white thin turtle neck and lay it all down on my island countertop. I turn around to retrieve my towel but stop when I see his shoes and blazer on the floor, I decide to leave them there and I replace my coversheet with my towel and walk into my bathroom. I lock the door behind me and turn on my shower head as I let my towel drop to the ground. As I stepped in, I imagined everything from last night being washed away.

Into utter inexistence. 

After last night, Alexander should stay away forever. I want him to stay away forever. Out of my life. Out of my mind, and out of sight. There won't be any entanglements between us, he shouldn't expect anything after today. We won't have any ties. This was a one-time thing, a one-night stand.

Nothing more, nothing less, only an abundance of nothingness.

What happened last night stays in the past, no one needs to find out. I rather keep it under wraps. Out of earshot, out of people's knowledge. I wish I could erase the memory myself. Go back in time to undo the whole thing.

I step out of my shower and wrap my towel around my body. When I walk out of my bathroom, I see Alexander laying on his back on my bed. His pants were on, but his shirt was still on the floor leaving him topless. I look away before he catches me staring and gets the wrong idea and walk into my walk-in closet.

I plug my blow-drier into the outlet and dry my hair in the mirror. When I was done, I change as fast as I could, turn side to side in front of my mirror to see how I looked and grabbed my Christian Louboutin black patent leather heels. I sat on my vanity, I had one in my room, and one in my closet, it was immensely convenient for moments like this.

I did my hair and applied retro rose Sheglam matte allure lipstick to my lips. I give myself one last look in the mirror before I stand up and walk over to where all my purses were hanging. I take a few minutes to decide which one matches my outfit, in the end, I choose my mini Burberry leather Frances bag. 

I brace myself before I leave my closet, with a deep breath I make my way to my room. I don't spare him a glance as I grab my phone and put my apple watch on, drop my wallet, and my fashion plan book in my purse.

"You think this was a mistake don't you?" 

I grab my doorknob and open my door, but as I step out I turn to him, look right in the eye and say, "One hundred percent."