Seacliff

Chapter seventy-four: The pursuit of happiness

1940

A letter came days after Aidan's twentieth birthday, from the colonel who had recruited him into the Irish Guards. He regretfully informed Mrs Mortimer that her son had been declared dead. Upon a detailed enquiry among the Dunkirk evacuees and during negotiations for Allied prisoners of war, four separate accounts from captured Belgian soldiers had confirmed that Aidan had perished at sea.

Each individual had described the scene in a similar fashion – Corporal Aidan Mortimer had stripped naked and tied a boot around his waist, claiming he would swim to Scotland. As a result, all hope that any trace of his remains might be found had been abandoned. He'd taken his identification discs with him, too, and his gear was destroyed by the Belgian soldiers before the Nazis apprehended them.

He would be posthumously awarded such-and-such medal for such-and-such deed, etcetera.

"America it is, then," Aidan muttered once his ma had finished reading.

"It's for the best, my boy. There's no war there."

"Not yet."

She sighed and stood from her chair to come sit on the edge of his bed. "We've talked about this," Saoirse said, taking his hand. "You would have had to leave sooner or later, anyway, before..."

"Yes, before wrinkled old hags sell me out to some mad doctor hellbent on deciphering my eternal youth. Grr, it's alive!" He imitated Frankenstein's monster with a crazed grimace and fingers crooked into claws.

That got a snicker out of his ma, before he relaxed against the headboard, overcome by nostalgia. He'd been bedbound for a week now, zero contact with the outside world, save for the daily midnight swims which had come to resemble tedious chores, rather than the adventurous escapades they used to be.

It still felt like flying, only with a broken wing. His body was slowly readjusting to the sealskin, though, getting better every time. Whatever selkie fluids flowed through it had smoothened the scar tissue of his bullet wounds and his muscles ached less each time he shed his skin.

"I know we've been over this," he mumbled into his chin, "and I agreed... but I was supposed to go away with work or for my studies or..."

Once, Saoirse had even suggested that he might find himself a nice wife and start a family somewhere sunny. He'd bitten back that he preferred the cold and didn't want a wife, ewgh.

"That was then," his mother replied, "it is what it is now. You can't risk being found out here and reported as a deserter."

"What if I... what if I say that I escaped on a vessel, somehow? That a fishing boat found me and brought me home? It's how I escaped from Norway! And then Dad can write me off as... as shellshocked and unfit for service."

"Aidan, mo mhuirnín... what's left for you here?"

His breath caught in his throat at the question.

"You've always wanted to see the world," Saoirse continued. "This is your best chance. Lie low for a while, until the war is safely over. Then you can come back, if you wish, once the chaos has died down. It's not unheard of, men considered dead returning home out of the blue. It's too dangerous to do it now, though."

Aidan found no counterargument. His whole life, he'd dreamt of adventures. Perhaps as an archaeologist, digging out long-lost treasures. Or as an explorer, charting new territories. He'd even considered performing with a travelling troupe.

So, what better place to achieve that ambition, than in the promised land of 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,' where 'all men are created equal'?

*

It felt strange to go on a trip without luggage, but, alas, seals could carry no suitcases. Aidan watched his da haul their skins ashore and the knot in his throat tightened. Aoife was picking at the remains of their beach hut nearby, pointedly ignoring him.

Whatever scenario they would come up with, his sister would always dictate the plotting of his 'disappearance.' It was of paramount importance that he would never abandon her when she needed him most. That he would be there to help her grow, to support her in her wildest dreams, to watch her become a surgeon in spite of all the odds stacked against her.

And now... now he was leaving her behind, chasing his own selfish dreams. Burdening her with yet another lifelong secret which she could never share with her peers. But maybe it'd be easier now. She no longer had to conceal her selkie brother from her playmates, because her brother was gone.

Gone for real, albeit faking his death.

"Aoife..." He crouched beside her and patted her back. "Aoife, please, will you look at me and let me say goodbye?"

The girl whipped her stick at a pile of pebbles until it snapped and she broke into tears. Aidan dropped down behind her, pulling her in his arms. Aoife sobbed at his chest.

"I'm so sorry, little one." He held her tight. "I'm so sorry... I don't want to leave you, either, but I must... It's what's best for everyone, hmm? You're safer without a deserter, a... a monster for a brother."

Her sobs paused, but she still hiccupped as she looked up at him. "Aidan! You're not a monster, you're my brother!"

Tears pricked at his eyes. Her fists clutched at his shirt and he brushed the hair from her face, kissing her forehead. They'd had an enviable bond from the moment she was born. Growing up in a house full of affection, yet isolated from most humans, bearing a family secret they could only share with each other, they'd forged a tight-knit connection that carried them through any hardship.

It hurt now to forsake the comfort of his sister's unconditional love.

"I'll come visit," he promised. "I'll... I'll send you nice things, from America. From New York! Pretty dolls you can operate on. Dr Aoife will have international patients. Travelling all the way from New York to visit you!"

That made the girl giggle. He passed her his handkerchief to wipe her cheeks and her nose.

"Do you think..." She sniffled. "Do you think I could visit you?"

She glanced up at him through her wet eyelashes. He combed back her curls with his fingers.

"Well, why not?" he said. "If I manage to find a place where I can settle... You and Ma can come over. I'll write to you and let you know, all right? I can't promise anything right now, but I will try my best."

The girl nodded, appeased. She got up off him and let him stand. His parents had said their farewells on the beach already. Aoife ran to her da, while Aidan walked up to Saoirse. There was nothing left to say, so they only embraced for the longest minute, before he moved on to James and Uncle Natsume. He refused to cry again.

His family stood on the grass as he stripped on the sand and climbed into his sealskin. He waved them goodbye one last time once he sat down. They waved back, then he lowered himself into his skin and the patch of blue sky above him shrank until it vanished.