Since You've Been Gone. (boyxboy)

Chapter 37: Regret

"I don't know whether I did the right thing."

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Thomas awakes, a lot later than he thought he would, with having too much on his mind. His brain moved from his dreams, to the club, how it made him feel, like he was to blame for being in that situation, wondering what the exact fallout from Jim's actions actually were, to the promise Jasper had made to end things with Beth. Would he see it through? Or was it just a promise  brought on by the moment they'd had? Did Jasper feel sorry for him or responsible somehow? Is that why he had said it? He guessed he'd find out soon enough, as he pulled back the bed sheets and got out of bed, pulling a knitted by Molly woolly jumper over his head,  not bothering to change the shorts he had worn all night.

He pulls his phone from the night stand, half expecting to have some sort of text, with some kind of excuse from Jasper as to why he had backed out, but there was only one message there for him to read. That being from Molly, telling him about bacon in the fridge if he wanted it. He lets out a small chuckle. Even though she was only his half sister, she had been more of a mother to him than their own mother, since their Grandmother had passed away. He could live without and endure many things, as long as he had her.

The text, unexpectedly lifts his mood as he pockets his phone and heads down the stairs, possibly lured by the bacon smell. Maybe she had decided to make breakfast for him after all. "Smells good Mol…" he begins but stops mid sentence, with the door only halfway open to see someone else standing over the frying pan, adorning her apron.

"About time you showed." Jasper says, glancing over his shoulder, before turning back to crack an egg into the pan, along with a few mushrooms.

"Jas…" Thomas pushes the door open all the way, stepping into the kitchen with caution. "Why are you here?"

"Why wouldn't I be here?" He shrugs as he pulls a clean plate from the opened shelf.

"And when the hell did you learn to cook?" Thomas edges into one of the benches, still not taking his eyes from the other male.

"I'm not totally useless Tom. My job taught me a lot about food and diet. I have to watch what I eat to maintain this body." Jasper glances down at his apron as he turns around with a plateful of food. He places it in front of Thomas, who still cannot seem to get his head around why Jasper is in Molly's kitchen. He looks up at the male, who now sits opposite him, as he bites into a triangle of toast. "Eat up." He says with a mouthful. Thomas picks up the knife and fork already laid out on the table and as if on auto pilot begins to cut into the bacon. Jasper watches with a satisfied grin as he rests an elbow on the table, taking another bite of toast. "Coffee?"

Thomas lets the cutlery drop onto the plate. He looks up at the man opposite him. "Jasper. Why are you here… really?"

"Like I said. Where else would I be?" He gestures with an upturned palm.

"You told Beth?" Thomas dares to ask, as he finds his body leaning over the table a little bit.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Jasper laughs, rather amused at Thomas' reaction. "Did you think I wouldn't do it?" Jasper looks at Thomas as the realisation washes over him. He lets his uneaten toast rest on the table. "You do want us to be together, don't you?"

"Yes." Thomas is quick to answer. "I just didn't think you actually would." Thomas exhales a sigh. "I thought maybe you may have said what you did because of, y'know…"

"You mean out of pity because some bastard thought he could play with you?" Jasper shakes his head. "Thomas, I love you ok? I always have since the day you left and that is what I told her. I told her everything."

"Everything?" Thomas feels on edge all of a sudden.

"Well, not everything, not like from day one, but enough for her to realise it's over between us and I'm glad." Jasper picks up his toast once again, taking what Thomas thought looked like an angry bite.

Thomas once again picks up his fork, eating the bacon impaled onto it. His eyes watching Jasper as he seems to still have something on his mind. "What are you not telling me Jas?" Jasper looks at Thomas shaking his head as if to dismiss any thought he may be having about her, but Thomas again lowers his fork and places a hand on Jasper's, which was resting on the table. "We start as we mean to go on." He looks Jasper in the eyes, getting his attention. "We have no secrets now. We are honest with each other. Tell me what's on your mind."

Jasper swallows down his toast. "I don't know whether I did the right thing…"

"Oh." Thomas jerks his head back a little at the unexpected answer. "Well, that didn't last long."

Jasper's eyes go wide at the misunderstanding of his words. "No, I don't mean us." He adjusts his sitting position as if what he were about to say was making him feel uncomfortable. "I kicked Beth out of the apartment."

Thomas furrows his brow. "That's a bit extreme, Jas. She is pregnant and we are the ones who…"

"She cheated first…. With Ed."

"What?" Thomas emits a laugh of disbelief. "Your best friend?… I said it. He wants to be you. I said it!" Thomas looks again at Jasper, who still looked burdened. Then the penny begins to drop. "So…the baby?"

Jasper gives a slight nod. "Probably his."

"Probably? Shit Jas, I'm sorry." Thomas gets up and moves around the table to sit next to him. He places an arm around him, pulling him in for a hug. "I know how important it was for you to be a dad."

Jasper lets his weight fall into Thomas. He needed a hug more than he realised, as he pulls on the knitted jumper. "I can't help wondering if I'm maybe wrong. It could be mine. I know I sound stupid."

"You don't Jas. She cheated. I know we have no right to judge that, but... She is messing with people's minds."

"But I still kicked a pregnant woman out. I mean, who does that?" Jasper looks down as if ashamed of his actions.

"Someone who is hurting.  She must have known this would all come out eventually. She brought it on herself."

Jasper exhales a heavy sigh. "I guess, but she couldn't give me a definite answer when I asked her about it outright. I asked her who the father was and she went all hysterical. I don't know."

"Well, there is someone else you could ask." Thomas says, albeit with trepidation.

"Who? You mean Ed?" Jasper looks at Thomas with a frown.

"Think about it Jas. There is a baby involved here. And like you said, we are talking probabilities. Until you get some straight answers, you're not gonna be able to move on. He may be as clueless as you or maybe not." Thomas shrugs.

"What if he says no?" Jasper points out.

"He's not gonna say no. He will most likely want clarity too. " Thomas says with a slight grin now gracing his lips. "Plus, you're Jasper Jones. No one messes with a Jones.  Even I know that."  Thomas leans in and kisses him on the cheek. "Plus, no one messes with my boyfriend."