Below The Hard Deck | A Top Gun Fanfiction

CHAPTER XVIII

The air between Maverick and I following the announcement of his new role in the mission has been tense to say the least. Not in the sense that we are mad at each other. On the contrary, the two of us were practically joined at the hip when he came home later that evening. Whether we were holding hands, hugging, or simply rubbing shoulders, both of us had be touching the other in some way. The issue lies in the reason behind the contact. We both know that we may only have a few days left to spend together, but neither of us have the strength to talk about it.

The elephant in the room did not escape the recruits during our final training run today, thanks in part to the seemingly endless amount of nervous glances Pete and I shared whenever we were remotely close to each other. In return, a steady stream of sympathetic smiles followed me around all day as a constant reminder of the situation at hand. Bradley even approached me after we broke the news that Mav was going to be their team leader to ask if I was going to be alright. That action in of itself pushed me to the brink of tears.

The trainees, however, were all carrying their own burdens. Despite the fact that many of them finally completed the course within the given parameters, there was no celebration within the group save for a few mumbled congratulations or a slap on the back. The reality of what is going to occur in less than twenty-four hours was just as clear to them as it was to Maverick and I. So, I did the best I could to raise moral and celebrated enough for all of them. With every successful run, I would cheer over the radio, even making sure to gush over their performance with them as soon as they exited their jets. I could tell that they all saw right through my charade, but if it made them smile for even a second, it was worth it.

The topic of who will be flying alongside Pete was one that was supposed to be discussed after training ended. It is a choice that we've put off making for far too long as is. Unfortunately, it's going to be pushed back even further because I have no clue where my partner is. When we left the base, he told me he had some things he had to take care of and that he would meet me back at home. Three hours later and here I am, sitting at the dining room table across from an empty chair and a meal of cold spaghetti, garlic bread, and lukewarm wine. It isn't the fanciest of meals to begin with, but I really wanted to make tonight as special as possible. At the very least, I expected Maverick to come home at a somewhat reasonable time.

My mind wanders back to all the nights I found myself in this very position thirty years ago. All the time I spent standing by the window, waiting to see the lights of his motorcycle speeding towards me. All the lonely dinners and empty bedsides. All the heartbreak. The possibility of this mission being too strenuous a foundation to rebuild our failed relationship has always lingered in the back of my head. Emotions have been high for both of us and maybe we just needed an outlet to release them. Now that training is over, perhaps that spark I thought we rekindled has faded once more.

I'm never leaving you again. Not in a million years.

I squeeze my eyes shut and take deep breaths in an attempt to calm my nerves. "Not again," I mumble. "I can't go through this again."

A knock on my front door causes me to practically jump out of my skin. With a groan, I push myself out of my seat and start down the entryway. Before I can launch into my spiel about how I'm not interested in buying solar, my mouth drops at the sight of my former RIO. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Great to see you too, Lucky," Specs scoffs, though a playful smile remains on his face.

"Sorry, it's been a long day." I wrap my arms around him in a tight hug, nestling my head comfortably in the crook of his neck as he pulls me close. "What are you doing here? How are you here? I thought that you had to fly back the night of Ice's funeral?"