𝑺𝑳𝑼𝑴𝑩𝑬𝑹 - 𝐤𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐫 { ✓ }

79

kit's POV
(this is a long chapter btw i'm sorry)

lee and i have been hanging out everyday of this week. we've been exploring the city and basically just living our best lives.

i love her.

i know i do. but im scared that she doesn't love me back. of course she likes me. but does she love me?

ugh, being in love with someone is so scary. the hallmark movies never mentioned how insanely terrifying it is to care more about someone else than yourself.

"what're you making?" lee asks, sitting at the counter across from where i am, adding spaghetti pasta to a large pot. 

"i've notice that we've been eating out at restaurants all week. so i thought you'd like to have a meal at home for once." i tell her with a smile.

lee gently places her chin in the palms of her hands and grins at me, "thank you, kit."

i leave tomorrow. at six in the morning, i have to board a plane back to london.

of course, i'm excited to see all of my friend again, but lee isn't returning to london for another month and a half.

i'm gonna miss her. this past week we've spent together has been absolutely amazing.

however, if i'm being completely honest, i feel like i did something wrong. shes seemed a bit distant ever since the whole incident with nolan.

i understand that it may have been overwhelming for her to see him again after such a long time. so i haven't asked her what's wrong. i don't want to bring up a sensitive subject.

"done!" i shout, pouring the spaghetti into two separate bowls for the two of us.

i'm planning to ask her about it while we eat. that's the real reason why i cooked dinner tonight.

i carry the bowls to the other side of the counter and place one in front of lee and one in front of myself. then i sit on the stool beside her.

lee smiles, grabbing a fork and taking a bite of food.

"it tastes so much better than it does when i make it. because i'm honestly a horrible cook."

"i'm sure you're a wonderful cook." i tell her, taking a bite of the food i just made. "anything you do is perfect."

"aww! who knew you could be so soft." she laughs.

she's joking with me and acting like everything is okay. but i know her well enough to know that her happiness is artificial.

i'm scared to ask her about her mood. what if it makes her upset? that'd be horrible, i hate seeing her upset.

lee quickly notices that i'm a bit stressed over something.

"what's wrong?" she asks. "do you not like the food?"

"no, it's good."

"i agree." she says with a chuckle. "but what is it, then?"

"well," i begin, "i've noticed that you've been acting kind of weird lately. and i really care about you. so what's wrong, lee? does it have something to do with nolan?"

she pauses. she seems a bit.. nervous. like i was. like she's afraid to tell me.

"it kind of has something to do with nolan." she explains. "but it more has something to do with you."

"what? did i do something wrong?"

"no." she replies, instantly. "i mean, uh, yes?"

i don't respond. i just sit and wait for her to continue to explain what's going on.

i really hope i didn't mess things up between us already. because i love her. a lot. and i don't want to lose my best friend.

"i told you that i didn't want you to fight nolan over something so childish and stupid." she says, avoiding eye contact. "but you didn't listen to me and you punched him anyway."

oh. that's what this is about?

"you're actually upset about that?" i ask. lee nods, still looking down at the table.

it irritates me that she's mad at me for defending her. but her feelings are valid and i don't want to argue with her.

"okay." i say. "i won't do it again."

i know her history with abusive relationships. and i want to show her that it's okay to express her feelings when she's with me.

it's okay to tell me how she's feeling and what's happening inside her mind.

it's okay for her to tell me that i've done something wrong.

and i understand that i have done something wrong this time. i didn't listen to what she had to say about the topic. and i acted on my feelings instead.

"are you sure?" she asks.

i tilt her chin up and make her look at me. "i'm positive it won't happen again."

then, i place a kiss on her forehead and i hear her laugh a little. i take a deep breath in, my lips still on her forehead.

"i love you, eileen." i say.

she pulls back from me, looking at me with wide eyes.

"what did you just say?" she asks.

at first i'm scared to repeat myself. she seems super surprised and i'm almost afraid that i've freaked her out. she might not feel the same.

then, a small smile begins to grow on her face. she starts laughing and rests her head on my chest.

"i love you too, kit." she tells me, lifting her head from my chest and looks up at me.

she kisses me softly.

between each breath, she tells me over and over that she loves me.

☆ ★ ☆

thy drama has ceased