Learn How to Love (Boy x Boy)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟕

I was instantly swept up into the kiss. My eyes fluttered shut, my jaw went slack, and my mouth parted to let Luke do whatever the hell he felt like doing. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed my gently, but I could send a wall building behind the sweetness of sexual tension. He was really holding back a lot of pent up energy, and I felt a weird gnawing in the pit of my stomach at the idea of what he could do if he had no self-control.

Luke tasted like alfredo sauce (no surprise there), but he smelled overwhelmingly like apples and cinnamon, a christmas treat my grandma used to make every year. I screwed my eyes shut and let my head roll back as he deepened the kiss, supporting my head with his hand as he pressed his face closer and closer against mine. 

After what felt like ages, Luke finally pulled away. I lay there, panting, as he hovered above me with a triumphant smirk on his face. I covered my face with my hands and trembled like a baby deer as I tried to comprehend what the fuck just happened and why the fuck I was just kissed by Luke fucking Salazar. How had it come to this?

"Aww, don't hide~" teased Luke. "Here I was thinking you were dominant, but you were lying the whole time, weren't you?"

I blushed harder, and refused to move my hands when Luke tugged on them. Luke brushed my dark hair away from my face. Luke laid down on top of me, burying his face in my chest and wrapping his arms around my torso. I wished I had given him the dinosaur sooner- I could've avoided this fate. I felt my body start to relax, and I reached up a hand to brush Luke's hair away from his face. Everything about him was so beautiful... it almost hurt looking at him. I brushed my fingers against his ears and watched them flinch away, and then slowly unfold back up towards them. I rubbed the base of his ears next, running my pointer and my thumb along the rim of his ear. I felt Luke tense up above me.

"Mm~ that feels really good. Keep petting me right there," he mumbled into my chest. His voice made my ribcage vibrate. I obeyed, and gently stroked the area around the bottom of his ears. I heard the choked gasps as he tried to withhold whatever unholy sounds he wanted to make. It was honestly a sin that I hadn't pet him before this. Here was a perfectly good cat boy, and I'd let him go to waste. What kind of monster did that?

 I quickened the pace of my rubbing, and I felt his breathing pick up almost simultaneously. "A-Ah~ slow down, Kylar, please. M-Mm~ no, a little softer. P-Please, Kylar please!" he whimpered, turning his head to the side as his sweet moans flooded the treehouse. I never expected to enjoy this so much.

"What was that? You want me to pet harder?"

Luke grabbed at my back, quivering against me. "Fuck, a-ah no, slow down! Please!" 

I finally relented, and resumed my earlier, repetitive motions. I could feel him start to relax on top of me, but I could also feel something hard against my leg. I chose not to mention it, and waited for Luke's bright red face to return to a normal color. Luke closed his eyes, resting his head on my chest again. "Mmm... don't stop, please," he begged. "It feels really good when you pet me right there."

I nodded and kept working my fingers through his fluffy white hair. I felt like I could stay here forever... maybe I should get myself one of those weighted stuffed animals so that I don't miss Luke too much when we finally part ways. I never thought I was one for physical contact, but I guess Luke had proved me wrong. Since I had never recieved attention, I didn't miss it. But now I would, and that was probably the worst part.

"Hey, how come you didn't tell me Hayden asked for my number?" I questioned. 

Luke frowned. "Oh. I must've forgotten."

"Huh."

I sat up. "Oh, do you want your present now?" It was better to break the cuddling session now. I didn't want Luke (or myself, for that matter) to get used to the constant physical contact. Luke sat up, disappointed we were no longer close but also excited to see what I had gotten him. I crawled across the floor and pulled the dinosaur out from behind the bed. I picked off a few balls of lint and tossed it to him. It landed with a whumph in his lap.

Luke blinked. "It's... It's so cute! Look at it's little face!" he exclaimed, picking up the stuffed animal and holding it above his head. He cradled it in his arms. "It's so warm, and so heavy." He looked up at me. "How come you got me this?"

"It's supposed to sort of imitate sleeping with someone, so you'll be able to cuddle with it when you're on your own."

Luke frowned. "But... I like sleeping with you?"

"We can't do that forever."

"What? Why not?"

I blinked at him. For some reason, I felt like holding back the truth. I felt like I couldn't tell him I was already planning for him to leave the treehouse and go back to his house. No more shared meals, no more shared clothes, no more shared hugs. The thought was depressing, but necessary. I could not get attached to Luke fucking Salazar. Like I told Sadie, I wanted someone I could love freely and openly- not someone that only cared about me when it was convienent for them. 

"You're looking for a boyfriend, remember?" I said instead. At least it was somewhat true, but it felt like I clawed a new hole in my heart just mentioning it. The word 'boyfriend' burned like acid on my tongue. "We can't do any of this once you get a boyfriend, dumbass. That's just not what normal friends do. Besides, you can sleep with him. Not me."

Luke arched his eyebrow. "So you don't like when I pin you down?"

My face burned again. "Wh-What does that have to do with this?"

"Well you're acting like you don't like when we hug and shit. If that's the case than why don't you tell me, right now, that you dislike it when I ask you to cuddle and I ask if I can sleep with you," Luke demanded. He was using his serious voice now, and it made me much more tingly than I would have like. Maybe 20% more tingly than I wanted. 

I sighed. "I'm not saying that-"

"So why do you try to push me away?"

"Like I said, we're getting you a boyfriend, remember? We can't get used to doing stuff like this if we're trying to find you someone to date. That's practically cheating. Would you go up to someone and be like 'Hey, you're really cute, just want to let you know that if we date whenever we hug I'm doing the exact same thing with the queer kid from my school'."

Luke's gaze softened. "Oh, Kylar..."

"Don't say my name like that. It's condescending."

Luke pulled my into a hug and slipped the dinosaur into my lap. "You're not just the queer kid. I've really enjoyed all the time I've spent with you, I hope you know that. And even if we're going to find a boyfriend for me, that doesn't mean I'll love you any less."

I rolled my eyes. "How romantic."

Luke smiled. "Shut up! I'm trying my best."

I tugged on my sweater strings. This was getting way out of hand. I wanted to stay with Luke, and I wanted to help him mature over time. This was a huge part of his life, and I was going to have to miss out on it. I wish my grandma had never cursed him. If she hadn't, then I wouldn't be missing him right now. 

"It's getting late," mused Luke.

I scoffed. "You just want to cuddle me longer."

Luke shrugged. "So?"

"Sleep with the dinosaur, not with me," I protested.

Something like amusement flickered across Luke's face, but it was quickly replaced by despair. "Can we... can we sleep together? Just one more night?"

"How come?"

Luke shuffled his feet. "I just... something feels weird about tonight, okay? I really want to sleep with you. I promise this is the last time, okay? I won't ask anymore." I nodded and let Luke slip beneath the blanket with me. Luke glanced at me.

"I swear," he murmured sleepily. "Last time."