To, Ashtray ps. i love you

chapter 9

ASHTRAYS POV

I felt so bad for alex after what i did. I  am such a bad person. Gia sent me a bunch of messages and i just got so annoyed to the point i blocked her. She was getting on my nerves.

Fez came up to my room after like 2 hours of me sitting on my bed after work doing absolutely nothing.

Fez- "yo man uh i gotta tell you smth but do not worry"

Ash- "what is it bro?"

Fez- "yk uh alex perez yeah?"

This was about alex? Oh shit. What the fuck? Is she okay? Has she messaged fez but not me? Okay now im worrying.

Ash- "no shit fez, what happened?"

Fez- "she is uh in the hospital, she overdosed man on oxy or some shit. Maddy said she or alex wont say we gave it her but alex isnt awake man"

Alex overdosed, its all my fault. Its all my fucking fault. She could die because of me. Fuck. What the fuck have i done? What in the fuck. FUCKKK.

Fez justs leaves me here in my room with my thoughts and i just got so angry. I was so angry that i did that to alex, i might not have physically but i gave her them drugs and i set her off. Tears prickle my face and i never cry. So i know this girl has some impact on me. I didnt know what to do so i put on my shoes and took fez's keys and started driving to the hospital.

I drove fast to the hospital and i had to talk to her. I needed too. I had to tell her how i felt. I think im in love with her. I dont know. I go abit over the speed limit and after 5 minutes i ended up at the hospital. I didnt tell fez i was going so he doesnt even know i left. I will call him later.

Receptionist- "hello what would u like today?"

Ash- "i wanna see alex, alexander perez"

Receptionist- "uhm she just came in for an overdose is that correct?"

Ash- "yes"

Receptionist- "and whats ur relationship to the patient?"

Ash- "boyfriend"

Yeah i know i aint her boyfriend but its just go i can get in too see her. I needed too. I hope she will forgive me and i can be her boyfriend. Ion know. I gotta have Hope.

They finally let me in the room and i saw maddy, maddys mom and a nurse. They were holding alex's hand and my eyes started to water. I didnt know what to do at this moment. Maddy looked at me with a weak smile.  Maddys mam also done the same but held her arm out amd i took it.

She hugged me. Maddys mam hugged me. I hugged her slowly and my tears just started falling.

Normally, i would only cry if fez had an accident, something happened to my grandma because there the only people i cared about in my life.

But alexander perez, she had this power over me. This thing that makes my stomach turn, makes my heart beat out of my chest, makes my cheeks feel warm and red. Ion know what it is because i normally dont feel this way about anybody, but i knew i had to tell her. And she probably hates me, but i need her to know the truth. I cant keep hiding my feelings if its gonna hurt her more.