Fairytale Shelf Life [MTL]

Ch 52

Chapter 52 

The location Song Yumo finally chose was an ordinary small fried shop outside a certain residential area.

The business is very good, even if it is raining heavily outside, there are still people coming and going here, full of fireworks.

Song Zhi sat down opposite his mother, suddenly, he thought he was back in his childhood.

At that time, Song Yumo actually cared a little bit about her. Although my mother didn't have time to take her out to play, she would take her to the small restaurant downstairs for dinner every noon.

"Let's order first." Song Yumo handed her the menu.

Just like when she was a child, she always let herself order.

Song Zhi couldn't help but glanced at her mother, she ordered the potatoes and salt fried meat they used to eat, and the tomato dumpling soup.

Immediately, she rarely asked her mother lightly: "Mom suddenly asked me to come out to meet, what is the important thing?"

Song Yumo took a sip of tea and got straight to the point.

"I should leave Haishi." After a pause, she said, "When do you and Yichan plan to end the exchange?"

Song Zhi was taken aback for a moment.

She was very surprised, not only because of her mother's departure, but also because she cared about her own affairs before she left.

After a moment of silence, she murmured softly, "I thought you would stay."

Song Yumo told her daughter frankly, "If I stay, the exchange between you and Yichan may not last long.

" Thrillingly, she crossed paths with Zhou Yan once, moreover, she also bumped into Zhou Yichan before.

Naturally, Song Zhi thought that mother was worried about them. Maybe Song Yumo wanted to stay, but because of their exchange, she gave up.

In this regard, Song Zhi was actually somewhat pleased.

Because it seems that her mother is not completely indifferent to her exchange.

She immediately said: "It's okay. Before the university starts at the latest, I will take care of everything, and Yichan and I will return to each other. So—"

She took the initiative to persuade her mother, "Mom wants to stay, so stay."

Song Yumo stared at her daughter, seemingly shaken.

In fact, she did consider staying, even after meeting Zhou Yan, she still hesitated. It was a phone call from the man that made her decide to leave.

She is really not ready yet, so she will say goodbye to him now.

More importantly, Song Yumo recalled, when she heard Yichan talk about her and Song Zhi changing lives, she had a burst of inspiration at that moment. The long-lost, surging desire to create has risen from that moment.

She had a hunch that this was a great opportunity for her who had been silent for many years to turn around completely.

Things like inspiration and desire to create are mysterious and mysterious, and they are fleeting, and she must not let them down or miss them.

Thinking of this, Song Yumo suddenly became determined.

She straightened her back suddenly, crossed her legs, and made a final decision with a high posture: "No, Song Zhi, I think you can stay longer."

Song Zhi was slightly stunned, not knowing what the other party wanted.

But she heard her mother continue to say: "Aren't you and Yichan going to the same university? Then have you ever thought that, in fact, you can try to exchange in university? For example, I said, for example—— "

The woman was immersed in her thoughts, her eyes sparkling. She suggested

: "You can replace each other in attendance and class, exchange in club activities, enhance each other, and even live in each other's dormitory... Don't you think it's interesting to enjoy two lives with each other?"

Song Zhi was stunned suddenly, and in an instant, he was so shocked that he couldn't believe it.

Because it is too absurd, the first reaction is doubt.

She asked back incredulously, "Are you suggesting that we exchange until after college?" "

Well, what do you think?" Song Yumo actually affirmed her.

Song Zhi was suddenly speechless.

She couldn't believe that her biological mother not only encouraged her to exchange lives with other people. He even took the initiative to offer advice to plan a more comprehensive madness for her, Zhou Yichan.

Absurd and ridiculous.

She felt that the blood in her body was getting colder and colder, and something fell heavily from her chest.

Emotions surged, but Song Zhi's eyes turned cold.

She looked at her mother expressionlessly, restrained her sullen anger, and asked coldly: "Why do you think that Zhou Yichan will continue to let me be that rich young lady?"

She indifferently reminded the woman: "Enough is enough, don't be so rude." Insatiable greed."

"Yichan will be willing."

However, Song Yumo seemed to be still immersed in it, unable to understand the patience and disappointment in her emotions.

She continued to analyze and plan: "Yichan will definitely find it very romantic and interesting. Her place is not a problem at all. On the contrary," the woman pondered for a while, and seriously suggested, "You should pay special attention to Zhou Yan's place. As far as I know, you have already It left a lot of loopholes. When you get to university, you can directly live on campus——"

"Enough!"

Song Zhi finally couldn't bear it anymore, and interrupted his mother coldly and angrily, "Mom, you encourage your daughter to exchange lives with others like this. What on earth do you take me for? Zhou Yichan likes you so much, what do you take her for?"

Although Song Yumo already knew it, from the moment Song Yumo supported their exchange, she just regarded this adventure as the material of her creation.

But at this moment, hearing that her mother was so utilitarian, so blatant, and so eager to arrange herself like a pawn, she finally broke out in despair.

Song Zhi hated and asked sharply:

"Are we a tool at the mercy of others? When you planned all this, did you consider our feelings? Didn't you think that we would be unwilling or uncomfortable?!"

The daughter suddenly became angry, and Song Yumo paused for her repeated questioning.

She finally realized something was wrong, but at this moment, she was just a little surprised and surprised: "Song Zhi, what do you think?" "

I admit, your exchange did give me a lot of inspiration, I want and need you very much But——"

Song Yumo admitted his selfishness, and also defended himself:

"How can you say something like 'tool'. Song Zhi, it is you who decide to exchange lives."

In the face of her out-of-control reprimand, the mother was able to calmly beat him back.

Song Zhi just laughed angrily, she snorted, her eyes full of sarcasm: "Really? So I asked for it, I brought it on myself, didn't I?" "It's not what you think." Song Yumo

should

also I realized that my words were a bit cold and hard, which could easily be misunderstood.

After a pause for a moment, her tone softened, and she explained: "I thought you liked Zhou Yan very much and would be willing to continue living Zhou Yichan's life." "You really don't know why

I like Zhou Yan?!" Song Zhi But with instant red eyes, he almost growled and asked this sentence.

Since childhood, Song Zhi has always been calm and reticent, and has never been so emotionally agitated like this moment.

At this moment, Song Yumo suddenly realized that her daughter didn't just care. She seemed angry and hurt.

Song Yumo actually didn't understand why, but she subconsciously held her daughter's hand, trying to calm her down first.

"Song Zhi—"

However, Song Zhi threw it away fiercely.

She stared at her mother tightly, with red eyes, and complained word by word: "Because Zhou Yan would give up work to take care of me when I was sick, he would care about whether I was cold or not, and he would carefully prepare for my 18-year-old mother. I will talk about my dreams and appreciate my college entrance examination results and aspirations! And you? My mother!"

A tear rolled down from the girl's eyes, and she choked up and told the cruel reality of grievance: "Since childhood When you grow up, you will only say to me, 'Song Zhi, you know something'." "

But—"

"I have been so considerate of you since I was a child. I know that it is not easy to be a single mother, and I know that your writing is not smooth, so I never Don't talk about my grievances and sorrows, just grit my teeth and keep wandering with you, I don't care if I can't make friends, and if I'm sick, I will endure it so as not to cause you any trouble." "As long as my mother can give me such a little attention, I don't care

. I have too many extravagances, just a little love to support me in the dark is enough."

Song Zhi stubbornly looked into his mother's eyes, every word and every word was full of heart-wrenching despair: "But mother, you have given me the love that you have given me. what?"

The daughter compares her with Zhou Yan, counts the warm surprises that men give her, accuses herself of neglecting her, and is disappointed why she can't be as good as her father.

Those questions pierced through Song Yumo like a sharp sword, stabbing her pain points hard.

Song Yu frowned unhappily, and blurted out: "What is Zhou Yan's condition, and what is my condition. Song Zhi, you have to be fair when you accuse me." "What did I give you?" She asked coldly, "I have done it for

you

. I gave up my life, gave up all my freedom and time, and worked day and night to support you! What more do you want from me?" He

summoned up the courage to speak out about his sadness and grievances, but in return his mother reprimanded her with a clear conscience. barge.

Song Zhi looked at his mother and realized that even now, at the moment when she collapsed, she still didn't understand.

She didn't know why she was heartbroken.

"Yes! When I collapsed alone in the classroom with a high fever of 39 degrees, when I came home in a heavy rain and snow, when I was alone in the amusement park on my birthday, looking at other children who were accompanied by loneliness and envy. I fully I really understand the busyness of my mother."

Song Zhi endured the sadness, and said hopelessly and inexplicably:

"But in fact, it doesn't matter. I understand the difficulties you have to work and support your family. But why—"

Song Zhi suddenly choked up , After a pause, I finally expressed my most bitter heart:

"Why are you so gentle and romantic to Zhou Yichan? You clearly know how to be gentle with children, but you always ignore me like that?

" I want to receive a bouquet of flowers from you; when I took the train to leave home, how much I wish you would call and scold me; after the college entrance examination, I want to hear a word of praise from you; after exchanging lives with Zhou Yichan, I have been waiting every day and night, hoping to see a trace of worry in your eyes."

"Is it difficult to say congratulations and make a phone call? Don't you have time?" "

But! No, you are gentle once You never gave it to me!"

Her voice was hoarse, and every sentence hurt.

Amidst the noisy voices, there is an increasingly clear sense of grief and silence.

The guests at the next table looked sideways frequently, Song Zhiquan, who was wrapped up in pain, didn't care.

She let the tears flow, and finally asked her mother heartbroken: "Mom, how can I be more sensible?"

Song Yumo suddenly fell silent, as if she was really asked.

This time, she knew in her heart that what Song Zhi said was true.

Maybe it was because Zhou Yichan had been separated from her for 18 years, and she never knew her before; or maybe, Zhou Yichan always talked to her, everything was written on her face.

It's strange, when facing Zhou Yichan, Song Yumo really knew what to do naturally. It was easy for her to open up in front of another daughter.

But Song Zhi is different.

She is always obedient, silent and distant, rarely being intimate with herself like Zhou Yichan, she is just like her father Zhou Yan.

Therefore, she thought that she would speak up if needed. Song Zhi didn't speak, so she took it for granted that she didn't need it at all.

There is very little communication with Song Zhi, she has always known about it.

But she thought that this was how their mother and daughter got along. Some people control their children, while others raise them as they please, and she is the latter.

Song Yumo thought that Song Zhi was at ease in such a relationship.

Until now, looking into the girl's extremely disappointed eyes, I heard Song Zhi hysterically accusing himself of being indifferent. It was only then that she suddenly realized that her daughter had actually been patient and had always expected something from herself.

The girl looked at herself stubbornly, her tears kept falling silently, it was hard for Song Yumo to describe her mood at the moment.

She finally stopped defending herself and apologized: "I'm sorry. If I knew you would be so wronged and depressed, I would definitely work harder."

Song Yumo's face softened completely.

She handed the tissue to her daughter, sighed heavily, and said, "Song Zhi, you can tell me what you want. Just like Zhou Yichan."

She said, "I have no intention of ignoring you or hurting you."

"Did I really never tell you?"

Song Zhimulu sneered, and asked coldly, "Have you forgotten what my mother did to me that time?"

She didn't say which time it was, but Song Yumo immediately recalled it.

That was when Song Zhi was just in junior high school.

At that time, in order to close the distance with her mother, she would take the initiative to tell her her thoughts. Song Zhi will share with her mother the embarrassment and wonder of her menarche; she will tell her that a boy wrote a love letter to her; she will also tell her that a friend wrote a break-up letter to her, but was caught by the teacher reading it in public... These are the most youthful things for

girls She shared her thoughts with her mother without reservation.

But one semester later, Song Zhi saw everything she had told in her mother's new work. No matter the details, Song Yumo didn't even change the names she mentioned. At that time, the scenes of her taking the initiative to lead and care were also copied into her book one by one.

Turns out that's why Mom was finally willing to listen. She is writing campus-related works, she needs those materials, that's all.

Song Zhi's desire to share in expressing her love eventually became her mother's writing tool.

That day, they had a big fight, and they were divorced from their mother ever since.

After being reminded by Song Zhi, Song Yumo suddenly realized that he had indeed said it.

It seems that after that time, she became silent and indifferent. She thought it was normal for a child to go through puberty, and it was inevitable when the child grew up, but it turned out that it was a manifestation of her injury.

As if the truth he had always believed in had been broken, Song Yumo was suddenly disturbed.

Is it really her fault? Have you been negligent so far? She never knew that she would make her daughter feel so heartbroken.

Seeing Song Zhi's heartbroken appearance, Song Yumo opened his mouth several times, but stopped several times.

But Song Yumo's argument was indisputable, but it was even more exciting and tugged at Song Zhi's heart.

Mom didn't explain anything, she just acquiesced in her eccentricity and indifference.

She finally burst into tears and vented wantonly:

"While you are ignoring me, on the other hand, like now, you write all the things I share with you into your book utilitarianly. All the 'good' you are to me are just because you want to collect writing from me Material. But you actually turned around and asked me, how can you say the word 'tool'." "

Why? Because you are, you just treat me as a dispensable tool!" "

That's not the case! "

Probably because this accusation is too serious, Song Yumo doesn't want to admit that he is such a cold person.

She hurriedly explained: "At that time, when I wrote you into my book, I didn't intend to use you as a tool. I just couldn't help it. I didn't know that you would dislike it so much, even to the point of loathing it."

It is almost an instinct of the writer to use the materials around him.

Song Yumo was indeed unable to control, and could not guarantee anything.

"Oh."

Song Zhi, who was stunned, suddenly smiled, as if he was in extreme pain and anger: "It's really a good one, 'involuntary'!"

She raised her hand to wipe away her tears, "Involuntary. It turns out that you used me, you The reason for the indifference from the beginning to the end is actually a simple 'involuntary'."

She asked sarcastically: "Then mom is also involuntary today? And after today, how many times will mother be involuntary?"

Song Yumo was speechless for a moment.

She wanted to say that was not the case, but she did alienate her daughter because of this, which actually caused her harm.

After a long silence, Song Yumo could only apologize again: "I'm sorry. Song Zhi, Mom didn't mean it. I just—" "Just

what?"

Song Zhi interrupted her coldly, "Could it be that you didn't think about it before you came to see me today? Ever? Have you really not noticed for so many years, what I expect from you?" "

You obviously have a choice. You are an emotionally sensitive writer, how could you really know nothing."

She pointedly pierced the cruel truth, "You just choose work and yourself every time. So mom, stop making excuses for your selfishness and indifference." Song Yumo was completely speechless

.

Pale and pained, she wanted to say something. But at this moment, it seemed that except for the three words "I'm sorry", everything she said seemed to be sophistry.

In fact, even an apology seemed weak.

After a long silence, she tried to promise the future:

"Mom in the future—"

"There is no need to apologize, and there is no need to talk about the future."

Song Yumo was about to speak, promising to restrain and make up in the future, but was interrupted coldly.

Song Zhi wiped away tears again, his eyes suddenly determined.

She said word by word: "Because I don't accept your apology, and I don't want to have any future with you anymore." "

Maybe everything I said today is meaningless, mom, you don't care at all. But it doesn't matter, because ——"

Song Zhi got up, looked down at Song Yumo, and finally said:

"Mom, this is the last time I call you that. From now on, I will not wander with you, and I will not expect anything from you." "

We The relationship between mother and daughter ends here, and I will say goodbye to you forever. In the future, I will live the life I want, and I wish you--" "You can really

write a successful work."

After finishing speaking, The girl decided to turn around and never look back.

Song Zhi resolutely left the place with Song Yumo's fireworks, without nostalgia, resolutely, walked into the rainstorm in August.

The dishes were finally served.

Song Yumo sat alone at the side of the square table, staring at the water stain on the gray-yellow table in despair.

Her eyes were unbearably dry, rain and mist mixed with tears poured into her heart like sulfuric acid, eating away a piece of it silently.

Indeed, Song Yumo has always cared most about his own works.

She was separated from Zhou Yan, and her relationship with Song Zhi's mother and daughter was weak. She thought that as long as there was a steady stream of works, she would not be afraid of losing them.

But at this moment, Song Yumo watched the heavy rain pouring down, remembering her daughter's determination when she turned around.

But there was a sudden sense of pain and panic in my heart.