Deranged {#WATTYS2015}

XIII. The Girl Who Remembered

My mind was like a blank canvas vulnerable to the manipulation of his pen gliding effortlessly against the clean and untouched surface leaving behind a scintillating masterpiece, molding my thoughts and sculpting my opinions. I felt transposed, so deeply compelled by his creation. He could smile his dimpled grin, so concealing, that I'd often forget it was only a falsified copy of something once incandescent.

I wanted to scream. To scream whenever he made me feel this way, conflicted and isolated by my own thoughts. I wanted to yell at him for invading that place in my mind I've only ever felt safe.

But instead I sat there, knees curled tightly into my chest with my back pressed against the headboard. Marcus had emerged from the shower twenty minutes earlier, and he still hadn't moved from his spot at the bottom of the bed.

I had never encountered him like this. He seemed almost still, and it was all the more terrifying. But I wasn't afraid, I couldn't will myself to be afraid because even as my heart leapt to my throat, fury, like molten heat, rushed throughout my whole entire body.

❝I hate you.❞ My breath was coming out in short, sharp gusts, my eyes burning as he held them tight within his own. "I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you. And honestly, I'd rather slit my wrists than go anywhere with you."

Marcus's stare didn't waver, only intensified.

I swallowed.

"I hate you." I repeated again and this time my voice was firmer, louder. He suddenly stood, and I crawled to the edge of the bed lifting myself up on my knees. "And even if you did force me to go with you, I'd still leave the first shot I get. So, you better do the smart thing for once in your pathetic little life and kill me now."

Marcus remained still for a long moment as my tears finally spilt, trickling hot down my cheeks. I did not move to brush them away, but held the monster's gaze as he blurred before me. "Kill me."

He gripped my chin, and I whimpered at the roughness of his touch. "What?" I forced out a laugh. "You going to hit me?"

"Shut up."

I felt myself stiffen, go still within and although I knew it was unspeakably dangerous, I shut my eyes and centered my breathing, although my jaw continued to throb from his tighten grip. "Hit me. Fucking do it. Do it. Hit me, Marcus." I was screaming now, a sobbing mess pounding at his bare chest with all the strength I could possibly muster up.

His voice was angry, furious even. "Stop it." I could tell he was trying to hold himself back, but I didn't care. I wanted a rise out of him.

"I'm not afraid of you. So, do it. Hit me." I hollered until my head felt like it was five seconds away from exploding. "Do it, you son of a bitch. You're just like Sawyer, you're just like him...I know you are."

Every trace of warning disappeared from his face, as I stood in front of him yelling his head off.

He was done warning me.

"You killed Blair, didn't you? That's why you won't tell me where she is. I hate you, and you disgust me." I kept at it. All the screaming and the hitting. "Hit me!"

Suddenly, I was whipped around and pushed onto the bed so hard and fast, that I immediately grew dizzy. Not even seconds later there was a wrench in my hair, and my head was yanked violently backwards. I gasped and shrieked from the searing pain in my roots, staring dazedly at the black pillow below me.

Furious as I was, I lashed out, struggling against Marcus. The pulling in my hair got worse, and I was so desperate for it to cease, I almost begged him to stop. Almost.

"You like being thrown around like that, don't you?" He bent down to my neck, bit me savagely, and I moaned and yelped all at once.

"I bet you're wet right now." I shook my head frantically, and he touched me over my panties, growling harshly into my ear. "Liar," He taunted me, and I screamed out in frustration only for my voice to crack as he applied more pressure. "You're practically seeping down your thighs."

Then I was released, my body slammed back down into the mattress. Instantly, I was spun around and I relished the first sight of him, as beautiful and snarling as he was. ''And, you call me insane, but look at yourself. Do you really think you're any better than I am?"

He sounded mildly curious. "At least, I'm honest with myself, but you...you like to pretend that you're some goddamned angel when, baby, I've never meant anyone could sin better."

My eyes cringed shut.

"You have no one left to pretend for. No one cares about you." He breathed out. "Your sister is dead, Victoria."

''Why would you say that?"

''She's been dead."

''She hasn't." I choked on my tears.

''Olivia is dead, she died four years ago..."

''Why would you say that?" Flashes of big brown eyes, and copper hair haunted me behind my closed eyelids. "She's waiting for me to come home...she misses me, Marcus. Please, let me go to her."

''She isn't there, and you know that...you just don't want to believe it." Minutes passed before he spoke again. ''We've met before, don't you remember me?"

My eyes remained closed. ''I don't know you....I'm sorry." Maybe, I really was insane.

''Open your eyes." I hesitated, scared of what I might see. ''Look at me, and try to remember."

''Please."

''Open your eyes."

When my eyes finally did start to open, I remembered. Everything.

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My mother passed away on the 24th of September, my birthday month and shits been depressing for me. But whatever, I'll try to get the next update up as soon as possible. Love you all xx

#fuckcancer