❝A dark stream of black hair spilled over her shoulders, lighter than air and softer than water, bordering her luminous face. Light danced across pleasingly symmetrical features, deep blue eyes welling up with unshed tears, urging to be released.
V...
All I ever wanted was to feel something other than an interminable numbness inside, an incontrovertible urge...a consistent itch to kill myself every time I even caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. And for the majority of my life, that's all there ever was; that incontrovertible urge to end something that had yet to begin.
I knew something was wrong with me from a very early age, and my parents undeniably knew it too. Hell, any person who ever came in five mile radius of me knew that there was something strange going on in that twisted little head of mine. They all knew but no one bothered asking questions until I was about nine, that's when things really started to get bad. My guidance counselor at the time informed my parents that during the course of the school year, she had noticed a lamentable change in my behavior.
I remember eavesdropping outside of her office, listening with disapproval as she went on went about how violent I had become with the other kids. How she believed that maybe their school wasn't a correct placement for a child like me. A child far too opinionated for her age, a child who easily manipulated the people around her with calculated lies, a child who appeared exceptionally intelligent but somehow didn't excel in classes. You should have heard my fathers booming voice when he went on to ask how she came to the conclusion that a nine year old displayed too much sexuality.
But, even then he knew I could certainly be differentiated from most children. He knew the day I fell off the swing set at school and nearly cracked my skull open like an egg on the pavement. There was so much blood that day, so much crimson. I should've cried, I should've screamed even....but nothing.
If he didn't know before, he knew then.
Ignorance is bliss I guess. Besides who wants to come to the realization that their child might be a sociopath? They'd rather just label me as depressed.
And honestly, I'd rather be depressed.
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Depression wasn't like how people described it in the movies. Things weren't always so dull, but everything around me felt like an endless, miserable routine that I'd never be able to escape. Until, the devil in the form of a teenaged girl moved to my town and decided that I was worthy enough to be graced with her very presence - let alone her friendship.
If only I would have known that when I agreed to become friends with the girl who flaunted her golden smile, that I was also signing my soul over. But, if I had the opportunity....I'd do it again without a single moment of hesitation.
The first time I walked down the halls with Katherine Elizabeth Morrow by my side, clinging to my arm like we were already the best of friends, everything changed for me within a matter of seconds just as she had warned. Everyone wanted to talk to me, everyone wanted to be my friend. The girls were no longer mean to me, and the boys finally noticed that I was apart of the female species.
