His Unwanted Bride (BWWM) √

Chapter 19

Being in your head is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. You end up seeing faults where there are no faults. You end of convincing yourself that no-one cares, you become very depressed and you can't stop hurting. Those were the things I had to deal with.

There was this sinkhole in my stomach, a very horrible feeling that refused to leave me alone since that dinner two days ago. All my years of insecurity came crashing back. I couldn't stop thinking of the events that led to the feeling. Being seen as a broodmare, a means to an end, an accident, a nuisance.

Everytime I looked at Keith, all I thought was what if he was part of Amanda's big bad plot? What if his niceties was all part of the game? What if I was just a game to him?

I wasn't strong enough to bear knowing that the man that had been so nice to me, the man that made me feel so comfortable around him was just playing with me. I was scared of finding out that he didn't like me, that he still just saw me as one disgusting fat fool that was just a means to an end.

I couldn't count the number of times I cried within those two days. I even hated myself for being such a cry baby. It was so frustrating, knowing that it doesn't take much to make me cry.

I then remembered his compliment. I'd rather watch us go at it than watch an interracial porn. Meaning that he was just setting for what I had to offer not that he was really into me.

Sighing once again, I looked up when Keith came into the sitting room. "Are you okay?" he asked for the third time that morning and as usual, I nodded. He had to travel for something, he must have told me what but I had been too distracted to even know what he said he was traveling for. He left about 30 minutes later and I dragged myself to the kitchen to look for something to eat. Pulling out the frozen chicken in the freezer, I waited for it to thaw instead of just warming it and then went to my room while eating it on the way.

It was roughly two hours after eating the chicken that I felt my stomach turn. I felt nauseous and before I could even understand what was going on, I threw up.

An hour later, what started off as a minor stomach twinge became the most painful stomach discomfort I ever experienced. Apart from the pain, I still vomited like three more times even though I had nothing left in my stomach. My throat felt raw and my body was covered in sweat.

I had to call Avery because no one else came to my mind and by the time he got to the house about two hours later as a result of traffic jam, I was a crying mess.

"Danica! Danica where are you?" I heard him shout from downstairs but I was too weak to even say anything. All I could do was cry and hope I'd lose consciousness because I was in too much pain.

"Shit" he muttered when he came into the room and saw my position.

"Come on let's get you downstairs and into the car." was all he said as he closed my open laptop and picked up my phone and put it in his back pocket before pushing my duvet off me. Helping me out of the bed and helping me put on my flip-flops, he made me leaning into him for support. Midway downstairs, another wave of stomach ache hit me and I just felt like I couldn't move anymore as I burst into fresh tears.

"Come on sweetheart. I can't lift you,  so you really really have to try. If I could, we wouldn't still be here. So just try." His words fell on deaf ears. If I could do it,  I would have done it but I had to wait until it loosened up a bit before we continued. When we finally got to the car, I threw up again and started apologizing when I heard him whisper oh fuck before throwing up too. I felt horrible. Avery  could never stand being around vomit,  not because he didn't feel bad for the person but because the disgust of it all also made him vomit too.