Johnlock - Oneshots

I Put Product in My Hair

John walked through the door of 221B Baker Street, carrying several bags of groceries in both hands. He struggled up the steps, calling out for Sherlock to help. No response. Typical. He had lived with Sherlock for several years now, and he had never once helped with the groceries, so why would this time be any different? There was a lot of things Sherlock had never done in the time they had been living together, and a lot of things he had never figured out. Things that even a normal person could have guessed by now. For a man as brilliantly clever as Sherlock Holmes he sure was an idiot. 

When John finally made it to the top of the stairs he found Sherlock laying on the couch, hands steepled under his chin. Mind palace, of course. Maybe while he was there he could finally figure out that John had been habouring feelings for him for the past few years. 

He placed the bags down on the kitchen counter with a thud. He looked back into the living room, no reaction, Sherlock hadn't moved in the slightest. He let out an over dramatic sigh, still nothing. John began to put the groceries away on his own, struggling to find room in the fridge around the body parts for Sherlock's experiments. 

He had put everything where it belonged besides the few containers of hair products he had brought for himself. They were on sale, so he'd brought heaps more than he needed. He'd taken to putting more and more in his hair the last few months. No straight man puts that much product in his hair. He heard Sherlock's voice say in his head. Exactly Sherlock, exactly. Why was it so easy for him to deduce others but when it came to John he was clueless? He'd told him on that day that he put product in his hair, back when he was still denying to himself that he was bisexual. He'd accepted it now. He hadn't told Sherlock because he thought the man would figure it out already. But he hadn't. What else did he have to do? Run into Sherlock's room with a rainbow flag tied around his neck screaming 'hey hey I'm gay!'? 

Then an idea came to him. If the only way to get Sherlock to notice him was to be dramatic, then dramatic is what he would be. 

"Hey Sherlock." He said, coaxing the detective out of his mind palace. 

"Yes John?" He asked eyes still closed. 

Dammit why couldn't he just open his eyes? That would make this that much easier, but no he had to be difficult. "Do you remember when we first met Moriarty? And how he had posed as 'Jim from IT'?" 

"I remember." He opened his eyes this time. Good that was good. 

"And you deduced that he was gay because of the amount of product he put in his hair?" 

Shelock raised his eyebrow at John, clearly questioning where he was going with this. "Yes, among other factors..."

As Sherlock began speaking John started to unscrew the container of hair gel in his hands. He stood before Sherlock and took a shaky breath. Well, here goes... 

John raised his hand above his head, looking Sherlock directly in the eye, before tipping the container upside down. 

An: this concept came to me at 1am and I started laughing and I just had to write and share it. (Based very loosely on that one text post that I'm sure you've all seen) 

Also season 4 John is the hottest John, don't @ me you know it's true.