Breaking Barricades (Levi x Reader)

17. ** Convince Me **

I was so conflicted as I walked out of the room, leaving Levi to stand alone. Part of me wanted to run back into his arms and apologize for everything I had just said to him. But, more than anything, I wanted to protect him by making sure that he was no longer in danger because of me.

I was quick to find Erwin again, asking if we could sit down to discuss my immediate future. He was so kind, still urging me to reconsider, but he also understood my reasoning. Eventually, he agreed to allow me to return with the Garrison Soldiers who would be bringing us replacement food rations to cover what had been tampered with, and possibly poisoned. He was just about to send out the messenger, so the wagon wouldn't be arriving until later the next day. Until then, I was to resume my normal duties as a member of The Survey Corps Special Operation Squad, Squad Levi. I thanked Erwin, saluted him with my fists against my heart, and left the room.

The rest of the afternoon was a bit awkward. Between reassuring everyone that I was fine, to informing my Squad that I would be leaving the next day, being able to prove that my decision was right was becoming more and more difficult. My entire squad protested, reiterating how much they needed me there with them, and how leaving would just play into Viktor's hands. Eren and Petra were the most adamant, presenting every argument they could think of to make me stay and not go. But I only shook my head graciously, knowing they would all be safer without me.

The evening passed by rather quickly, and before I knew it, I was in my room preparing for bed. I looked out the window, watching a few rain drops begin to tap against the glass, gradually evolving into a full on downpour. Flashes of lightning, followed by low rumbling thunder, eventually accompanied the rain. After one particularly bright flash, I gasped at the deafening roar of thunder, unexpectedly followed by a hand clasping over my mouth and a blade piercing my cheek.

Startled yet outraged, I grabbed both arms and dropped my weight downward, flipping my attacker over my back and onto the floor with an empowered scream. Drawing my own knife out of my boot, I charged forward, ready to kill- but stopped short when I came face-to-face with my assailant.

"Levi!? What the-"

His eyes were on fire. Flipping his knife in his hand, he charged toward me, shoving me against the wall behind us. This time, his knife was at my throat, mine on floor.

"I had to make sure you weren't going to freeze up again...But you let your guard down too soon. And now you're fucked."

Immediately, I recalled the night before my first expedition, when he had made me realize that my fears still controlled me; how I still wasn't strong enough.

But I was no longer that frightened little girl.  And I would prove it.

I swung my leg underneath his, knocking him off balance. Shoving him off of me, I looked around hastily for my knife, but Levi was too fast. He pinned me again, this time with my cheek smashed against the wall, my arm twisted behind me. His grip was tighter than before, but I wasn't giving up.

"Erwin told me that he is approving your transfer to the Garrison after all. What happened to flying free with the Wings of Freedom that you're so proud of? Or proving that you're more than just some fucking MP play thing? You just giving up on everything now!?"

"NO! NO GODDAMMIT!" I cried out angrily. "I'm leaving with the Garrison tomorrow, and that's final!"

I threw my head back into his, knocking him off of me, as I turned to lunge for my blade. His foot caught my arm, pulling me down with him. He aimed to jump on top of me, but I pulled my knees in and kicked him in the chest, launching him into my nightstand. I sprang to my feet, darting toward my knife when I felt Levi grasp the collar of my shirt, whipping me backwards into his arms.

"You are so goddamn stubborn and so dead set on all this bullshit! You leave me with no other choice on how to convince you to stay!"

With that, Levi shoved me against the wall, holding my wrists at eye level, as he firmly pressed an agonized kiss onto my lips. At first, I was afraid of his vigorous intensity, until I quickly realized just how desperate he had become. I felt myself begin to surrender to his despair as I parted my lips, allowing his tongue to taste mine. I pushed into him lustfully, but he only forced me back again, demanding that I stay. He squeezed my wrists even tighter, as his lips aggressively wandered down my neck, savoring the taste of my skin. Ever so slowly, he guided me down the wall as we sank to the floor.

His hands finally released my wrists, but quickly found their place elsewhere. One hand held my face close to his, ensuring that I couldn't escape his kiss. His other hand slid down my arm, then rapidly dropped to grip my inner thigh. I gasped and moaned, startled by such an unexpected touch. With my hands finally free, I pushed him backwards and crawled on top. He was quick to roll me over, pinning me underneath him dominantly. He readily began tugging at my shirt, vigorously trying to remove it, then growled impatiently. Before I knew it, I saw buttons flying across the room, as Levi had ripped my shirt wide open. In response, I ripped his off too, before he lowered down to passionately kiss me again. Feeling his toned chest press against mine was almost too overwhelming. Our hearts so close, skin touching skin: such an incredible sensation.

He wasn't going to make it easy for me to leave.

Fully undressing me, he threw my clothes across the room, not caring where they fell. His lips began exploring my body, as I released gasps and moans that I could no longer withhold. I flung my head back in anticipation, trying to catch my breath, as he pressed his palms into the small of my back and kissed along my hip bone. I could feel the warmth of his breath along my thighs, as I began to shudder.

What he did next caused me to inescapably scream his name, as pure ecstasy coursed through my veins. He flew back up to meet my face, placing one finger against my lips.

"Oi...at least wait for the thunder if you're gonna do that, dumbass."

I smirked and threw my hands onto his low back, inching my hands downward. He caught on to my request, quickly matching me in being completely stripped bare. Levi didn't waste any time, entering me the moment his pant-leg left his ankle. Inhaling sharply, I wrapped my legs around his waist and enveloped him with my arms. It was like we were holding onto each other for dear life.

I felt myself become so overwhelmed by the situation I had put myself in. I had somehow allowed someone to get close to me; so close that I had fallen insanely in love with him... only to have to push him away to keep him safe, to keep him alive.

I dug my nails into his back, hugging him so tight that I could barely breathe. Burying my face into his shoulder, I fought back the urge to give in; to stay after all. How could I ever leave his arms? They were always so strong, so comforting... so perfect.  He mirrored me with a enduring embrace, too afraid to let me go. 

And yet, as we passionately made love to each other that night, I still feared that I was only fighting against time, when the moment would come when I would have to say goodbye...