'Ladder'

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...it's one of those nights,
when Im yet in battle for sanity of mind,
caught on an unraveling string line,
hoping the sand won't collapse this time;
there's none easy conversation to explain why,
wish mine thoughts & voice could find proper words,
no desire to cause unwanted hurt -
so instead...
deepen the mass growing inside,
is the martyr creature I ride;

desperate to end those horrific chapters,
dissect away remnant poisons  gathered,
finally silence all those pesky bastards laughter -

mine heart should be scaling the beatitude ladder,
yet...
no, the hole widens & veins grow sadder -
still,
I wander the stygian for that sparkle of light I feel is there...
somewhere...

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