9: The Visit

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My legs bounce, heel tapping the floor in an odd rhythm, tattooed fingers tapping along my quaking knees, my muscles tense and sore from the nights sleeping on the couch

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My legs bounce, heel tapping the floor in an odd rhythm, tattooed fingers tapping along my quaking knees, my muscles tense and sore from the nights sleeping on the couch. I'm so focused on breathing I don't know if I'm doing it right. I'm almost a thirty-year-old man and I'm nervous.

Get it together.

Sneaking a peek at Adonis, he sits there completely still, arms crossed, lips pressed into a firm line, breathing normally.

How my brother can remain so calm, even physically, right now is beyond me. I'm a twitcher when I get nervous, which is usually never.

But today, I'm not the invincible man I pretend to be. I'm a scrawny twelve-year-old boy about to face down the beast he's been trying to hide from.

In my defense, Adonis didn't have to go through the things I did once he defected from the club. He made other sacrifices, like having me shoot him in the face and luckily survived, but the things I've had to do to please the man we're about to see...

I glance down, looking for any indication of the stamp on my hand, but the ink is invisible to the naked eye. My gaze traces up the black and white artwork along my forearms and biceps. I'm not seeing strength or power, but pale skin, a thin and bony frame with not an ounce of muscle, a child's arm, and once upon a time... my arm. I'm reverting, going back to the scared kid I used to be.

A low growl vibrates in my throat as I slide my hands through my hair, leaning back in the waiting room chair as I do. My skin prickles as I look over at the lockers holding all our stuff except our license and the white card they give us for the vending machines.

"He sees you acting like this, he'll win," Adonis states.

I know that.

Of course, I know that.

I've had months of planning for this moment, preparing myself, but... I'm not ready.

We had scheduled this visit a while back and when we did it I had an endless range of emotions spear through me. Gloating, excitement to see him in the orange jumpsuit, guilt that it hadn't come sooner, grief, and most of all... fear.

I don't know how to face him.

My relationship with him is complicated. The last time I saw him he had me beaten, struck with a baseball bat, and had sliced my side right open that is now forever scarred.

I hate him.

He even knew I hated him but he never saw my betrayal coming. He thought I was too scared, too much of a coward.

Well, he thought wrong.

A door clicks open, erupting the tense silence for a beat. A prison guard stands there, holding the door open with his body that seems to be too frail to be a prison guard. His hand grips his wrist right under his belt. "Adonis, Bones."

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