There is no heavier question asked than if
you have ever thought of or attempted suicide.
I can't escape that question any more than
I can escape my mind.
No matter how fast I run or how
much more weight I can bench press,
there's that one voice telling me
the world will be better off without me.
I keep telling others I would never do
anything so final and drastic.
I overthink everything to the point where
failing to complete the task and fear
of the pain keep me from going too far.
Makes sense that I'm too much of a
bleeding heart to worry about the stains
I'll leave behind once the first drops drop.
It's easier to just disappear.
No trace and no trail for anyone to sniff out.
In the deepest tunnels of my mind,
there is a safe place where the sun never sets.
Resting in the middle of a grassy hill with
dancing Lilies of the valley and hydrangeas,
gentle breezes twirl around my hair and chase
away concerns about the welfare of those
who might want to bring me home.
I'll stay there and find my own happiness and
have the freedom to fail spectacularly.
They will be better off without me.
There isn't much I have done for them in
contrast to the wasted effort put into me.
No one must know, at least not all of it.
I'll find something to be happy about later today
or tomorrow.
All of this will be temporarily forgotten.
I'll be fine. I promise.
YOU ARE READING
Caffeine and Me
PoetryA collection of poetry ranging from brain farts to exploring why I bother getting up in the morning. Most likely there is some form of caffeine to keep me awake (or alert) enough to type my thoughts out regarding my depression, struggles within my d...
