It Wasn't Love ✔️

Chapter 49

I don't think I've ever felt jealousy as immense as this. Jonah, who I thought was my friend, with his hand around the girl I love's waist and his mouth right next to her ear. I know Aria wasn't unfaithful during our relationship, fake or not, but she's not pulling away. She's staring up at him and he's smiling and she's talking and I don't think I can take much more of this.

It's just pain after pain after pain. In this past month, I think I've never felt so depressed. The only way I can relieve my anger is with football. But, recently, it hasn't been helping. It makes me feel worse, especially when we don't win a game.

I turn away, seeing more than I had wished to. I need air. Rushing through the doors of the exit, I unbutton my blazer and walk down the empty, dark halls of college.

God, I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have let Laura convince me to come to prom when I knew I wasn't going to enjoy and I was going to see her.

And, like my heart had summoned her, I hear the click of heels behind me. And then, her voice plunged through my chest. "Jacob." I hear her say, and I freeze. My heart squeezes. Slowly, I turn around to face her.

Aria looks even more elegant up close. That gold dress... the way it hugs her curves and shows enough skin to make any man go feral. The slit down the side of the dress put her smooth leg on display. I swallow.

"I wanted to talk to you." She says, her fingers grip on her purse tightening. I glanced away from her, before my eyes fixed on her beautifully crafted face.

"About what?" I ask, and it dawns on me that it's the first words I've spoken to her in a month. "Because, I don't think either of us have anything left to say to each other."

Aria licks her bottom lip, walking towards me until she's right opposite me. There are mere inches between us. I don't think I'm breathing. "I do." She says. My eyes flutter to a close when I feel her fingers graze over the palm of my hand and entwine with my own. "I know I hurt you." She whispers, looking up at me. "I know... I said things I can't take back-"

"Don't." I say, stepping away from her. "Don't take back everything you said to me. Don't try to fix this, Aria." I say, squeezing my chin in-between my fingers and rubbing the rubble around my mouth. "You can't take back what I've felt this past month. God, I... I want to leave town."

"Why?"

"Because of you, Aria!" I shout, exasperated. I turn away from her, and Aria steps back, her hands by her side. "Because... after all this, I don't think I can survive looking at you every day, and knowing I can't have you. Or, going to college and seeing you and still loving you when I know you don't feel the same." I say.

Aria clears her throat, her hand resting on her chest.

"Because loving you isn't the hard part, Aria." I whisper, stealing a glance at her. "It's realising that it was all in my head."

"Jacob-"

"Just... just go." I say, pointing behind her, too tired to fight. "Go back to the hall. I'll be back in a minute." I whisper, and Aria swallows before nodding her head multiple times. She doesn't make eye contact with me as she slowly turns away and walks off. For the second time, she's walking away from me. And, for the second time, I'm not stopping her.

***

By the time I get back to prom, an hour has gone by and the night is still underway. My friends were near the drinks bar, and Aria was in the corner, her arms folded across her chest. I walked forward, but I'm frozen in place when I see Jonah stand in front of her, his hand on her arm. His other hand is on the wall behind her, and I fight to control my breathing.

Still, heavy breaths leave my nose and my hand clench at my side. And, when I see Aria pulls away from him, my heart calms down a little. But, he's consistent. He pushes and pushes until Aria has to walk away. And then, his hand is on her elbow and I don't realise that I'm walking up to him until I've pushed him away from her and my fist has collided with his jaw.

Jonah stumbles back, his hand covering his mouth. I grab a hold of his collar and shove him into the wall behind him. I hear people gasp around us, but I don't care. I punch and punch, taking out all my anger on him. Even though he's able to get one punch on me, I don't stop until I'm pulled away by Charlie.

There's blood in mouth and I spit it out, making eye contact with Aria. Her eyes are wide with fear and shock and I don't stop looking at her as I wipe away the drop of blood from my lip.

As she takes a step towards me, I turn around and walk out of that damned hall. I know she doesn't follow me and I don't stop walking until I reach my car.

And, as I sit in my car, I cry and cry until my heart is completely empty. My brother is dead and the girl I love doesn't love me and my life is falling apart and my heart is broken and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to survive this.

And, as I look at the sky through my windscreen, the stars are so much brighter and the moon looks bigger and the darkness has never been so blinding. A sad smile is on my face and I can still feel my tears on my cheeks.

Who knew the stars would look better than before, now that you're in them.

Song: All For You- Cain Ducrot

-H ⚫⚪⚫⚪