INTRUDER

NOW

I can hear the monitor beeping. It's annoying. I am in the hospital because I was so stupid and ran into a wall trying to kill myself. I know, I was crazy thinking that but I was just really mad and not taking my pills messed with my head. Everyone was so scared when they saw me. I had a broken rib and a broken arm. It hurt but not as much as realizing that your friend was just a part of your mind. That was the worst feeling in the world. Its exactly as if you were a little child and a grown up came up to you telling you Santa Claus isn't real, how would you feel? It's that whole and emptiness in your heart that hurts the most. That feeling that you are stupid, it's unnerving.

Susanne holds my hand as I sit there in a heap of pain. Johnny sits there with his feet trembling and his hands shaking. It looks as if he were having a seizure. Ellie started crying once she saw me and Ben came rushing in. Brice is here too and he said that he was going to pray for me.

When I hit the wall, I don't remember much but just maybe a few minutes later , I heard sirens and people yelling and screaming. I had thought I was dead for maybe two whole minutes but then I moved. Of course it hurt, but at least I was alive. It felt marvelous to feel alive.

I wish my mom was still alive.

Brice came up to me and said that he had to leave but that he will certainly be back soon. Ben smiled at him and then looked at me.

"You doing fine?" He asked.

"Yeah. I am so stupid for doing that." I told him.

"You know, I would've done the same stupid thing. It's what teenagers do and plus you have so much grief going on it's unimaginable the pain you are going through. But, 'in the end everything will be okay, if it's not; then it's not the end' I forgot who said that."

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up," I smile.

"I wasn't, but okay."

"Oh," I laughed.

We laughed together and then he sat down in the chair next to me.

"I followed you," he simply said after a long time. Susanne stood up and quietly left the room for the two of us to talk. Johnny and Ellie did the same.

"I saw you crying and I knew you were going to do something stupid so I started following you. I lost you when you turned the other way but then I retraced by steps. I saw you speeding towards the wall and your car slammed into it. It was a slow and scary sight to see but then I quickly called 9-1-1 and they came pretty fast. They were going to call you in for questioning in two days," he said.

"Thank you, Ben," I said, leaning into him to kiss him on the cheek.

"Thank you for everything."

"Oh, no. That is what friends are for. I love you more, remember," he smiled.

There was a long silence and then I broke it.

"So, I guess I am not going to never be able to ride the bus again." 
"Yeah, what a bummer."

I tried to sit up but couldn't so I laid back down. I was so tired.

"Ben, I am going to go to sleep now."

"Okay, sleep tight!" He smiled.

I closed my eyes and all the pain went away.