Dark Like Me

18~Birth at Break

His face turns grim and he sits down with a heavy sigh. Before talking to me, he sends a text message.

I blink waiting for him to answer me.

"You birth parents..."

"And don't lie to me either. Don't tell me they didn't want me or anything like that. Unless it's true."

"Oh no. They did want you."

"Then what happened?" From the long sigh that exhaled from my father's lips, I knew I probably wasn't going to school or I was going to be extremely late. Like the third period into lunch late. But, I didn't care. I have been waiting to ask my parents this for a long time. 

"Your mother...birth mother's name is Ava Kross and your birth father's name is Sequan Lockenight."

I shift in my chair to get comfortable.

His lengthy pause causes my heart to thump hard against my chest. I am fearing the worst. By the way, his jaw is set, I can tell he is thinking of a way to work the information.

"Just tell me," I say.

"Ava wasn't happy in her marriage and neither was Sequan. They've been friends for a long time. We all have been friends since middle school. A five-year long relationship between them resulted in you."

"So, I'm a product of an affair?"

His eyes widen at my blunt honesty. "I wouldn't say that. They really did love each other. But, there was way too much at stake if they left their spouses."

I rub my temples wanting to understand. "So, when did they give me up? Was it easy?"

"No, it wasn't easy. They kept you for a month...well...more your father kept you because of Zalina, his wife was more accepting than Ava's husband Maurice. And your father's daughters fell in love with you."

"I have sisters?"

"Yes, you are both their youngest. Ava has Bradly, Caroline, and Allyira. Your father has Zadia," he looks up, trying to remember their names. "Nubia, and Zakia."

I sit back in the chair, taking in the information. Now, I wonder how they coped with being melanin. "Wow."

"Yeah. Before they gave you up for adoption, they explored every option except me and my wife taking you in. At least that's what they told my wife that they didn't consider that. But, I found out they wanted you to be with a black family, which was understandable. But, you already were...your father and his family is black, you know. You were already home. I tried to get Ava to see that, but she wasn't. Then I came up with the idea of them letting me and my wife take you in. At least they could be closer to you and you could grow up with your siblings." He shakes his head, "They would not."

"Why not? I mean that makes so much sense." I am sucked into the story of my birth parents and their relationship.

"They explained that watching you being raised by someone other than them would be painful."

"Still makes no sense." My face wrinkles in confusion. "They would have been able to watch me grow and learn."

"Exactly. I personally think they were too grief stricken to think right."

My mind spins. I was in a good home with my father and my mother interfered with that...for what reason now?

"Okay. They gave me up. What happened then?"

"Ava hit the drugs and the alcohol hard. Sequan...I think he just shut down. When I or my wife saw them, we'd ask how you were assuming they had an open adoption. They wouldn't speak of it or you. So, one day my wife took it upon herself to call all of the local adoption agencies to look for you." He shrugs his shoulders. "You were nowhere to be found. Since my wife learned that she couldn't have any more children after Nickolas, she wanted you and Sydnie wanted you as well." He smiles. "I think Sydnie got tired of being the only girl."