It's Not Perfect

Chapter 17

"It was the day I tried breaking up with him." I spoke slowly, remembering just how scary that day was. I closed my eyes as I remembered it, the images flashing through my mind so vividly I almost thought I was back there. On his porch. When he made me his prisoner.

"What happened?"Ryder asked, his voice sounded distant. Almost as if he were on autopilot and his voice was speaking even though he wasn't fully aware of it.

With a loud sigh I dove into the tale I hated retelling, "It was still pretty warm out, a cold chill just starting to turn the leaves into different colors. The night before, Duke and I had been out at a party. I told him that I wanted to leave and he said he wanted to stay so I said I was going to catch a ride with my friend Henry that I had known since kindergarten. Duke freaked out on me and actually yelled at me in front of all our friends. A few guys actually had to pull him away after a while. It was then that I knew I had to get away from him. So I went to his house the next day and tried to break it off with him but...but..."

"I'm right here Emma." Ryder encouraged when I couldn't continue, scooting closer for emphasis, "I'm not going to let him hurt you anymore."

I knew that. I knew I shouldn't be worried, it was irrational. I couldn't do much better than having an MMA champion protecting me so I should just tell Ryder everything and let him handle it because he's be completely able to. But there was still something itching at the back of my mind...and I knew exactly what it was. My dream of Ryder dying was still burning in my thoughts and that's what I was truly scared of, that Duke would ruin the last thing I cherished. Ryder.

"I tried to break it off." I said again, feeling the tears swelling in my eyes as I remembered the pain of what would come next in my story, "He didn't take it too well. He slapped me across the face, right there on his porch. In front of his whole neighborhood. But no one was outside to see us." Ryder watched me extremely intently as I took a deep breath in order to continue, "Right afterwards he apologized strenuously. He insisted that he didn't really mean to and he just lost his temper. He spent the rest of the week trying to make it up to me and after a while I started to believe him..."

"But then he did it again." Ryder finished when my voice faded to silence. I nodded, feeling a tear slip from my eye and travel down my cheek as a large lump entered my throat.

My bottom lip began to quiver slightly. I was going to lose all control. There was no way I could keep all of this in anymore. It was illogical to think I could keep it hidden in the first place, what kind of person beat the one they supposedly loved?

"It became more frequent, usually right after he got mad. After he calmed down he'd always apologize and buy me flowers or chocolate. But then he started forgetting the flowers and chocolate, and soon he stopped apologizing all together." Tears were streaming down my face now. I couldn't help it, "He'd hit me then walk away and show up an hour later pretending like nothing happened."

"Why didn't you leave?" Ryder asked, turning his entire body towards me, his face hard and his eyes swimming in a unit of gathered emotions. Anger, sympathy, fury, concern. I could literally see each emotion flash through his eyes before they blended into an overall feeling of confusion.

"Because I was afraid of what he might do." I confessed, feeling my own emotions falling into chaos that ran ramped throughout my heart, "Duke said he would kill my family if I ever tried to leave. I couldn't put my parents in danger like that. So I put up with Duke's bullshit for an entire year. He'd hit me in places that could easily be covered by clothes like my stomach, sides, back, arms, and upper thighs. He'd meet me every morning whether we had school or not, if I was wearing something he didn't like or I had my hair down, he'd make me go right back into the house and change. He was so controlling, he decided everything for me. Then one night things got especially bad."