"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I'M FUCKING INLOVE WITH YOU, LISA!" Jennie expressed, finally admitting and voicing out the words she's been dying to tell the blonde for so long. Her voice cracked as she cried even more, her heart throbbing in pain saying those words knowing Lisa doesn't feel the same way.
"Then why did you push me away? Why did you tell me to grab my chance with Tzuyu! Jennie, why? I don't understand." Lisa exclaimed as she held the brunette's hand to avoid her from hitting her again, her heart beating frantically at the confession as melancholy washed over her Thai features. She knows she feels something towards the brunette but the situation is just too complicated.
"Because I wanted to get rid of the feelings I have for you! I did everything! I tried everything to stop it but it just gets worse everyday... and I was testing you, I... I know it's fucking stupid of me to catch real feelings for you but I can't help myself! You made it hard for me, Lisa. You made me fall for you deeper and deeper and it was so foolish of me." Jennie shouted but it turned out as a whisper, she howled while trying to pry Lisa's hand off.
"And it hurts! It fucking hurts me much because out of all the people you can be with, you chose to be with the person who was the reason of my brother's death." Jennie sobbed, Lisa unconsciously released her hands as she gathered the new information. The sight of Jennie is breaking her heart, her eyes glistened as tears starting to form in her eyes but she pushed it back to avoid it from falling. She knows how much Jennie loves her brother and how hurt she is when he passed away.
"I-I'm so-sorry..." that's all the blonde could say. Jennie wiped her tears as new tears replaced them, she shook her head.
"Why it hasn't to be me, Lisa? I broke my own rules for you, I broke my own beliefs just for you. I played myself, I fooled me but I still wanna be close to you because I love you so much. I love you so much that it hurts, I let go of the judgement, I let go of the insecurities yet you still choose to continue to play with my feelings. I fucking took a risk of hurting and being judged just to be with you but all you fucking did was to feed me with your lies!" The brunette yelled while gesticulating frantically, her voice hoarse as the tears continue to fall down her cheeks. Lisa just stared at her, not finding enough courage to speak some words.
"I know I was delusional to actually think you might feel the same way because of how the way you treat me. I entered in to something with no assurance and the only thing I held onto was all your lies. I'm sorry for falling inlove with you, I shouldn't have agreed with this stupid dare if I only knew this would happen. And I know too well that falling inlove with you was careless and stupid but I fucking did anyways." Jennie held her head down as she continue to sob, Lisa was out of voice all of a sudden but she did something that made the brunette slumped her body on her as she feel even weaker. She quickly engulfed the brunette into a warm embrace making her cry even louder.
"Even though you played me, even though you are playing me like your toy I still feel safe around you, I still feel butterflies in my stomach whenever you touch me. My heart flutters whenever you smile and laugh, you make my knees go weak whenever you kiss me. You were the reason why I was crying most of the time but I can't help myself but to still long for your warm and comfortable embrace. Being around you feels like home, Lalisa. I feel like I always belong here, right here in your arms and I hate it because I can't do anything to fight against it. My feelings are way too strong and I just hate all these." The brunette confessed as she burried her face on the Thai's chest, her heart hurting yet again. The emotions are just too strong, too strong to even break the spell she was cast in.
"And you know what I hate the most that you do? Is that... in the end of the day, you still fucking made me love you and I hate you for that yet... yet I love you." Jennie cried more as she clutched her hand behind Lisa's shirt. The weather isn't helping, it just made their emotions tenfold. She burried her face deeper on her chest, both of them soaking wet as the raindrops continue pouring down.
YOU ARE READING
PLAYED // JENLISA
Fanfiction"I like you more as time goes by." What will you do once you realized you got played? Especially by the person you're not really fond of. But do you really got played by that person or you just played yourself in the game that you, yourself created?
