What it's like to be human - (Male reader) Book 1

Chapter 16

A blonde-haired woman named Heather sat crisscrossed in a chair in front of Pugsley, Y/n, and Wednesday who face the woman seated on a bench.

"Children, as your new nanny, I know we're all concerned about the environment. So this morning let's discuss how to prevent forest fires." Heather said. "Prevent them?" Questioned Wednesday, she pulled out a matchbox lighting one of them, Y/n took the match from Wednesday throwing it at Heather, but he missed. Heather looked disturbed, and she ended up quitting before the first day.

Mrs.Wilfred, A jolly, chirpy English Woman, now sits in the chair. She has a hand puppet on one hand, the puppet is perky and fairly standard, with yarn hair and button eyes

"Hello, kiddies! I'm Polly the puppet! What shall we do today? I know, let's all clean our rooms!" suggested the Puppet. Wednesday holds up her hand, she has a hand puppet too. Wednesday's puppet is the devil. "Hello, Polly. I'll clean my room in exchange for your immortal soul." Wednesday then made the puppet evilly rub its hands together as Y/n pulled out his dagger, Mrs.Wilfred's mouth is agape, and her hand puppet staring at her. Needless to say, she also quit. 

Mrs. Montgomery faces Wednesday, Pugsley, and Y/n. "All right children. I've had it up to here. Now you just answer one simple question, where is that baby?" She asked, "Which part?" Wednesday replied. 

Y/n, Wednesday, and Pugsley, stand near the cradle. All Children wear mailman's caps and carry mailman's shoulder bags. "We were just playing Mailman," Wednesday told the nanny. "Well, isn't that fun!" Mrs. Montgomery said walking toward the cradle. She looks inside and pulls back. "And where's the baby?" Mrs. Montgomery asked.

"Anchorage," Wednesday said simply, Mrs. Montgomery later quit too.   

Another Nanny had shimmied down a rope made of knotted sheets and drops from a second-story window of the Addams mansion. She hits the ground and runs off in terror

The next morning...

The doorbell rang as Lurch opens the front door. 

Standing outside is a woman somewhere in her thirties, she has short blond hair and is packed into a tight white nurse's uniform. Lurch looked rather stunned by the woman. "Hi! Addams residence?" She asks, Lurch nods, as she steps inside and looks around. Nothing fazed Her. "Oooh, it's old!" She turns and looks Lurch up and down.  "And big," she commented. 

Morticia appears at the top of the stairs. "Lurch?" Lurch nods, still rather dazed. The blond woman waves approaching Morticia "Hi, hi! I'm Debbie Jellinsky, from the agency." She says. "The agency? But they claimed no one else was available." Morticia said. "Surprise! I've been out of town. Are you the mom?" Debbie asked. "I am Mrs. Addams." Morticia answers. 

"I love your dress. It's right." Debbie complements "Thank you." Morticia said, Gomez appears from the hall. "Gomez, I believe we may have a new nanny. Miss Jellinsky." Morticia introduced her husband, "Deb." Debbie shakes Gomez'shand "Isn't he a ladykiller." Debbie said. Debbie begins going through her purse"I can show you all my references. So you'll know I'm not a homicidal maniac." 

"Of course, you're not." Said Morticia "You're too young." Gomez added. 

Wednesday, Pugsley, and Y/n are t the top of the stairs, poking their heads through the banister, staring at Debbie or at least Most of them Y/n how ever is blindfolded.    

Gomez holds the baby in his arms, showing him to Morticia and Debbie. Debbie gasps. "Oooh! Is that the little critter?" "Oh no. This is our baby." Morticia said. "He's adorable! He's perfect! What's his name?" Said, Debbie. 

"It was agony. We went through all the books, all the usual baby names." Morticia said "Lucifer." "Benito." "Mao." Gomez and Morticia alternated. "And then we came to our senses. Something sim~le. Something a child could live with." Morticia said "Pubert."Answered Gomez.

 "Pubert. Family name?" Debbie asked. "Yes. After his great-grandfather Pubert Pendragon Addams III." Gomez told her, "Pubert. I like it. It's filthy." Debbie said as Gomez and Morticia exchanged a glance, very impressed. 

"May I?" Debbie asks to hold out her arms Pubert makes a low growl. "Your blouse, is it flammable?" Gomez asked, Debbie shakes her head. Pubert growls a bit louder a low rumble is heard, and the sound of glass tinkling. "You've had your shots? Measles, mumps, rabies?" Asks Morticia, Debbie nods. 

The room begins to shake, and the entire house creaks and groans. "I just love babies. They're just so sweet and pink and innocent I just want to grab 'em and squeeze until there's not a breath left in their tiny little bodies!" Debbie exclaimed, Gomez and Morticia exchange a look, completely satisfied with Debbie. Gomez hands Pubert to Debbie. 

Debbie cuddles Pubert close to her bosom.  "Hello, Pubert. I love you." Debbie says Everyone holds their breath and the room stops shaking.