Her Only Hero

Chapter 36

During the drive back, I sort through my thoughts and emotions, trying to figure out how I feel after everything.

My new found freedom gives me a sense of peace and excitement, yet at the same time, I'm filled with uncertainty, dread, and anxiety.

I worry that I might fail at this new life. A sweat covers my entire body. Stressing over everything, and imagining everything that could go wrong. My fingers wrap tight around the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white.

I'm so lost in my own head that I don't notice the car in front of me braking and pulling to a stop at the intersection until I'm right there. My foot slams down on the brake. I lurch forward. Thankfully, I avoid my second car crash in two days by only a hair width gap between us.

The car drives off as if nothing happened, turning around the corner and disappearing while I stay put, listening to my harsh breaths and my racing heart.

I can't do this. I've only ever had to look after myself. I've never had to worry about another person before. I'm going to fail Misty. Misty might have been better off with Mum. At least Mum could keep her alive.

A honk somewhere behind me pulls me back into reality and forces me to drive forward even though I haven't had time to collect myself.

No, I think as I pass through the intersection at a slow pace. Mum almost got her killed. It was because of Mum that Misty was kidnapped in the first place. But could I do any better?

For the rest of the drive, I stay out of my head. Anytime I notice myself drifting away with my thoughts, I pull myself back and focus on the road ahead.

Despite my anxious thoughts about the future, I'm in less of a panic in the drive back compared to the drive in. During the drive in, I had been frantic with worry, fearing a confrontation with my mother.

I'm sure that's the reason why the drive back to Jonah's seems shorter than the drive to my mother's. By the time I pull into Jonah's driveway, it feels as if I should have five more minutes left to drive.

Axel asks about the close call and the extended pause at the intersection the moment we get out of our cars. I tell him I was lost in thought. He accepts my answer and leaves it at that.

We leave everything in the cars and head inside to find Wyatt and Jonah sat on the couch and Misty jumping around in front of them. Misty rambles about something to do with fish and swimming while Jonah and Wyatt listen to her with smiles. The TV plays in the background on a low volume.

Jonah looks up as we walk in. "How'd it go?"

"Smooth," Axel tells him.

"We got everything," I say.

Axel grins. "And a little extra."

I smile at the idea of Mum returning home to find half her belongings missing, and knowing she won't do a thing about it.

I hope she finds my key first and thinks, "Thank God he's gone," before she notices I took half of the house.

"Is it all in the shed yet?" Jonah asks.

Axel and I say, "No," at the same time.

"Do you need help unpacking it all into the shed?"Wyatt asks, already getting to his feet.

"Yeah," I answer. "If we plan on finishing before the sun sets."

As Jonah stands up, Misty jumps towards us.

"You can stay here and watch TV if you'd like," I say to her as she stands at my side.

"I wanna help," she says, looking up at me with a smile.

"Alright then. Let's go."

As we walk outside, Misty skips ahead of the group, singing some kind of song that she makes up on the spot about getting her toys back and about today being the best day ever.

I swear Jonah enjoys it more that she does. He stumbles from laughing so hard.

We decide to start with Jonah's car but we end up opening up Axel's car and removing thing before we've finished half of Jonah's car.

Misty carries small things that she gets passed from someone to her and carries it to the shed where she passes it to someone else, that is until we reach her stuff and she gets distracted by everything. She ends up sitting on the ground beside the cars, surrounded by toys and playing with everything while we continue moving the rest.

The sun sets before we can store half of it and Jonah has to run inside and turn on the outside light so we can see to finish the job.

When we're done, I ask Misty to pick a few toys to keep out and we'll put the rest in the shed. It takes her a while to make two piles, constantly swapping toys back and forth. But she comes to a conclusion and she gladly places the others in a bag for the shed.

We all head back inside to watch some more TV, but when I announce a few of the doubts and internal struggles I'm having, the boys and I discuss the future, coming up with plans and figuring out solutions to possible problems.

When the time hits seven, and we realise no one plans on leaving any time soon, Jonah tells Axel and Wyatt they can stay as long as they like and they both decide to stay the night again.

Misty tells me she's hungry, and we call up and get three pizzas delivered.

That night, while Misty sleeps beside me, despite the encouragement from my mates and the problem solving they've done for me, I wonder how I'm going to screw this up.

How long will it take me to disappoint Misty? When will she realise I'm no better than Mum?

There's a reason why I was still living with the witch. I'm not ready for this. I'm far from ready, but I can't fail or Misty will suffer.

How will I make enough money to support us both? Where will we live? We can't stay in Jonah's spare room forever. Who knows how long his parents will put up with us.

How will I afford Misty's education? Will I have to drop out in my last year of school to allow her to finish primary school?

How can I do anything now that I don't own a car? What do I prioritise first, car or home?

What will I do if we end up living on the street?

We need food, electricity, water, transportation, living essentials, a place to live, clothes, insurances, and more. And for all that we need money that we don't have.

My eyes struggle to stay open, staring at the moonlit window. As exhaustion takes over, the questions and doubts move to the back of my mind, waiting patiently for tomorrow to arrive to terrorise me.

Before sleep consumes me, I think, How long will it take before Misty realises I'm not her hero.

***