Sexchange ● JJK

• 14 • fragmented beads

The entire apartment stilled when you said that. White noise met his ears, lightly subdued by you slurping away the soupy noodles.

The unimaginable had occurred and he wanted no part of it. His two worlds seemed to crash together as he processed what you just said. Iseul...

Gosh. He just wished to forget everything but if you had indeed met her and talked to her, he had no clue how much both of you had talked about. Never did he wish to go back again into that time because that was the worst he had ever experienced. The insecurity, the novelty of moving to Seoul, the confusion. Iseul hanging out with so many boys. She never knew but boys--senior boys-- would send him threat messages to leave her alone as they wanted to have her. Obviously, he always tried to protect her but he couldn't force her to not go out and enjoy. Live the way she wanted to but he continually warned against it. All he wanted was her to be safe.

When she started coming home drunk with untrustworthy men, his anxieties doubled. At last, when she stumbled back home with her top undone and back fashioned with two hickeys, he couldn't hold himself anymore. He was done. No matter how hard he tried, she never listened. Later, he took care of those boys who had dared to touch her, without permission, when she was intoxicated. They deserved what they got. He never told Iseul what he had done behind her back, how he had found them and taught them a bloody, very bloody lesson. Got 'em arrested too.

"Don't talk to her again," he ordered, turning back, body stiff with tension.

"Why? She was kinda kind to me. Helped me walk because someone didn't come to Uni to help me."

Yeah, he knows. He knows she talks kind, looks kind, behaves kind. But, in the long run, one can make out how kind she really is and she isn't kind. At all. He had never told her about the hickeys on her back because he knew it will break her, it would destroy any girl. He felt incompetent for not being able to protect his girl. And, she never noticed the purple hickeys too, in all the chaos at that time. So, his anger and frustrations just had to find a way to seep out. After spending so much time with her, he had made out that Iseul was materialistic, self-centered and egoistic. Everyone had short comings and he didn't have anything to say because he was cold too but he just knew that Iseul wasn't a person who would be able to appreciate the type of person he is.

You were.

You liked how he was.

"I SAID DON'T FUCKING TALK TO HER!" He yelled, all his nightmares haunting him once again. Just...

You can't get trapped into what other people say or do. He wanted you safe from all of it. Even though subtly, Iseul must have said something which would hurt you because he knew her. She would not bare him being happy with another girl when he had thrown her away like trash. You were a little baby, a pretty angel. Not meant to be caught up in between such diplomatic, paradoxical, bitchy bastards.

The spoon from your hand fell down as your grip loosen, you flinched really hard. A shaky gasp flew out from your mouth as you heard his enraged shout, eyes filled with venom. Fumes of anger dissipated from his hard body as he looked at you strictly. Terrified you to the core.

"You know, what? She was right. No matter how hard I try, you just don't break. I end up breaking myself every time, for so many months, but you don't even give me a morsel of affection I want. Is it so hard to hug me when I get a good news? Is it so hard to laugh with me? Is it so hard to cuddle with me when we sleep? I'm not asking for big fucking gestures, I want the small things from you, Jungkook. That's all I need to be happy. Give me a little back, I'll make you a thousand times happier," you beg, standing up from the island high chair and walking to him. He's closing his eyes and resting his hips on the kitchen's edge.