"I see nothing that you can offer me," She said eyeing him head to toe. There was a clear hint of dismissal in her tone as she got up to leave.
Catching the steps with her, Mahil smiled, "I don't think that's true."
"Eh?" She frowned.
"How about a...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Hangover couldn't numb Kuhoo's brain, although she wished it did. But in comparison to severe migraine attacks she suffered for years, the heaviness of hangover felt nothing. Thank God, her last night's stunt hadn't triggered a migraine episode; she didn't wish to be more vulnerable in front of stranger than she already did.
The whole ordeal had tired her; not being able to wake up by thirty past four in the morning was a proof. She had been cranky all the afternoon, a messed up schedule never settled well with her. Come on, she had missed the morning prayers because of that stupid mistake. Sundays were the only time she worked with freewill, reading her favourite Vishnu Sahastranama from five to six am in the morning like everyone did back at her home, preparing breakfast in leisure listening to old hindi songs, paying attention to plants in the balcony from ten to eleven am basking in Sunlight getting the necessary Vitamin D, lazing around till the mid-afternoon reading the Mythological books from the collection, having lunch waiting for Eli's call and then chattering with her for hours bickering about everything and anything.
Breaking that chain turned her mind into a mess. Not that she expected a peaceful holiday after coming across that post the previous night.
Perhaps she was to act more mature. Wasn't she over it? But then her mind decided to go all haywire last night. Why wasn't there an end to this? How come she kept falling back into the same circle again and again? It wasn't necessary, the mind storming. But no explanation put an end to the questions that kept eating her up and she kept tossing and turning in the bed.
Kuhoo wanted to cry, shed away all pain, self-doubt and the secretly existing self-hatred that wouldn't resurface on usual days. But her eyes refused to give away any precious tears for the man who didn't care enough. Maybe they weren't meant to be.
Sleeping throughout the day, Kuhoo woke up at around four pm hearing her phone ringing.
"You didn't pick up when I called earlier; I assume you slept till late. What else can I expect after a Tequila night?" Eli mocked from the other side.
"No need to rub it on my face. I get it. That was, well, irresponsible on my part," Kuhoo sighed.
"Irresponsible? Do you even understand what kind of thoughts went through my mind? I was in the middle of an OPD when you pulled that stunt on me. I called three times after we talked, then I called you after getting back home, I sent some twenty messages but you didn't even budge to get online and send a simple text. How could you do that?" Eli lashed.
"I'm sorry. I crashed the moment I reached home, slept till late. You know how I get when things don't go as planned, right? It wasn't a great morning so I went to sleep again, my appetite sucked anyways," Kuhoo tried to explain.
"Darling when will you understand this habit of wanting things to work just the way you want and planning every single thing is ultimately going to hurt you? What do I do with you, Kuhoo? You almost gave me a panic attack; I looked nothing different than that anxiety disorder patient who came for the check-up yesterday." Eli's words added more to Kuhoo's guilt.
"I know I'm at fault. But... Forget it; I have no excuses this time. After looking at that post, well I know you want to talk about it, but I really don't know what to say, okay? I don't understand what I feel about it? Questioning me isn't going to do any good. I understand the therapist in you says I should talk it out but there's nothing to talk. Perhaps, I don't trust myself when it comes to him, my actions are unpredictable. I end up doing bizarre things that nobody would approve of," Words weren't enough to justify the things she felt or probably couldn't feel and Kuhoo was unable to decide whether to be happy or sad about the lack of feeling.
"You have to Kuhoo, you have to come to terms with it. Running away won't work here. We knew it would happen one day, right? He getting engaged isn't the only thing that is bound to happen. You also have to get married one day. For that you need to get over with your past," Eli tried to give her best friend a reality check just like she had been doing, all these years.
"I am. Trust me when I say, I'm. It's not like I cried buckets just because he went ahead and got engaged. I didn't. I'm over him. I don't think about Ad- umm.. him, I don't think about him as much as I used to during the initial years of my Neuro residency. I don't feel anything for him anymore," Kuhoo wanted to believe the words. She was being truthful to her bae, wasn't she?
Eli gave out a plain chuckle, "You don't feel anything for him, or you don't feel anything at all? What's the point of me being a psychiatrist if I can't even help my best friend?"
"Hey, don't feel bad about it, please. You are the best. You have been there for me, always. I can't imagine how I would live if you weren't there for me, listening to everything and anything I say. Perhaps, it will be really petty of me if I cry over a guy for four long years, right?" Kuhoo felt fresh set of tears forming in her eyes.
"Kuhoo, my darling, I would have believed you, if it was only about a guy. But it isn't, we both know that. You need to face it Kuhoo, you need forgive yourself for the things you did. I don't know what your family thinks but when you look at it from my point of view I don't see anything you should punish yourself for," Eli knew she probably was crossing a line there, family was too personal thing to bring in the conversation. But then she also had an idea that Kuhoo needed to hear this.
"Forgive myself? I can, maybe. But daadi will never forgive me. Ma calls once in a while but Chacha, chachi, everyone else... And Baba, do you think he will forgive me? Let's just... Let's please not talk about it."
Eli sighed. "Did that man drop you home?"
Kuhoo hummed.
"Listen... What was that all about? Were you that drunk? Pointing out a complete stranger saying 'I trust him' that's... it was so unlike you," Eli asked.
"I guess alcohol makes me do things. I'm okay though," Kuhoo got up from the bed and put the phone on speaker while folding the blanket.
Eli felt something odd about the way her best friend said that line and was about to question when Kuhoo enquired, "How are things going between you and Vihaan?"
"We are good. He calls whenever time permits. Aunty said when he comes home this time she'll finalize the dates for engagement and also the marriage," Eli blushed.
"Awww... At least one of us gets to marry the man of her dreams! So, when am I going to meet Major Sharma face to face?" Kuhoo smiled.
"You'll come here for the engagement?" Eli's words had a mixture surprise and excitement.
"Of course, settling with an army person has been your dream and seeing you getting married is mine," Kuhoo chuckled.
"Now you sound like my mother. Well, be like that. Do anything that you want... but... just come back," Eli's voice cracked at the end.
"I'll, for you, I definitely will. Alright, my stomach needs some food. We'll talk later?" Kuhoo walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge looking for some vegetables.
"Sure, call me anytime. And... Just be safe, okay. I love you," Eli yawned, sauntered to her balcony and smiled looking at the sky painted in orange. The Sun was about to rise, perhaps time zones weren't such a bad thing. Talking to her best friend and watching such a beautiful Sunrise, what else could she ask for on a Monday morning?
Fun fact - These best friends didn't listen to me. I planned on writing half chapter about them and half about Mahil- Kuhoo but then these two kept chattering and pushed Mahil to the next chapter.
