Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 29: Starving

Don't do it.

I stared at the burger held in my container. It looked so good and I hadn't eaten anything today. However, I knew I shouldn't eat it. Not when I needed to become skinny quickly to lose all my baggage. So far I hadn't eaten much yesterday or the day before. It was a lot harder than I expected, but the thought of becoming skinny kept me going.

"Not hungry?" Cece asked me.

"Yeah," I lied.

"Sorry about yesterday," she suddenly apologized again.

I waved a hand to brush her off as I put my lunch back into my backpack that lay on the grass field. Thea and her had apologized a few times, and I obviously forgave them. Deep down I was still bothered by the fact Cece thought that, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered except getting skinny.

Thea and Cece talked for the most part as I just listened. As I listened my eyes suddenly felt heavy. For some reason I felt more tired than usual the past few days. It was like my energy had dispersed with the lack of food. I knew that was a sign of anorexia, but I also knew that I couldn't be going through anorexia. I did eat a small meal for dinner every day so far.

As they continued to talk, my eyes began to feel heavier and heavier. Uncaring, I allowed them to shut. It felt great to have them close because now I had to urge to fall asleep. Too bad Thea interrupted.

"Are you okay Quinn?" Thea asked.

I opened my eyes slowly. "Yeah, just sleepy."

She frowned. "You look pale."

Shrugging tiredly, I said, "Lack of sleep I guess."

Cece began to frown too. "Quinn, please tell me you ate something for breakfast."

"Yeah," I lied, closing my eyes briefly. "I did."

As I reopened my eyes, I saw that they were both staring at me with concerned looks. Not in the mood to defend myself, I forced a smile and began to change the subject. We began talking about random thing that were going on in school, and that seemed to calm down my friends. That made me relax too. No one needed to know that I was starving myself.

"Quinn are you really okay?" Cece asked concerned.

I opened my eyes tiredly again. All I wanted to do to do was sleep, but that didn't seem possible with anyone around. Thankfully Math was the last period of the day.

"Yeah," I insisted. "I'm fine. Just tired remember."

She frowned. "You look sick though."

"I'm fine."

I gave her a serious look to prove my point, but that only made her frown increase. Sighing, I decided to work on my Math booklet to prove that I was totally fine. Thankfully she stopped asking me questions as I began to work. Well, trying to work. For some reason I couldn't focus on any of the Math problems in front of me.

After a few minutes of trying, the bell finally rang. Everyone scurried out of the class, leaving Cece and I alone.

As I got up, I instantly said, "Whoa."

For some reason I felt dizzy. It was like the world was out of focus and I was about to fall over. Inhaling deeply, I began to pack up my stuff tiredly. The fact that it was time to go home kept me on my feet.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Cece asked.

"Yes!" I said flatly. "You can leave now."

Cece's eyes widened in surprise from my harsh words. I was about to take them back, but she quickly left the classroom. Sighing, I already began to make plans to apologize to her tomorrow. I would do it today, but I lacked any energy to do so.

After packing my books, I slung my backpack on to my shoulder and began to walk off. As I began to walk, I realized that walking required a lot more effort than usual. It didn't help that I felt dizzy and my knees would buckle at any second. Frowning, I kept reminding myself that I would be going home now and falling asleep in my nice soft bed.

I made it to my locker in a minute or so and began to grab the binders and textbooks I needed. That seemed to also require a lot of effort and I found my eyelids closing on me. Huffing, I picked up my pace, knowing I couldn't do this for much longer.

As soon I shut my locker, I heard Connor call me. I turned around to see a scary looking Connor storming to me. Already afraid, I took a step back and remembered that I was at my locker. The cold metal of it touched my back and Connor now stood closely in front of me with a rage I hadn't seen before.

"Don't you dare tell me you're starving yourself," he growled.

I gulped and tried to hide my shock. How did he find out?

"I'm not," I squeaked, as my focus on his face seemed to fade away.

"Don't lie to me," he hissed. "How could you?"

I stared at him, unable to speak. It seemed like my vision was going away and before I knew it my eyes shut.

"Quinn." I heard him say gently.

His voice sounded soothing, so I didn't force my eyes open. Instead I suddenly felt sleep consume me. The last thing I heard was my name said in a panicked tone.

I opened my eyes tiredly and looked around. I jumped as I saw a familiar looking guy sitting at the edge of my bed. Once I calmed down, I realized it was Connor. He seemed to realize I had awoken because he then looked at me. His eyes looked more gentle than ever.

"Good evening," he said gently.

"Evening? Wait what?" I said, completely confused. "Why are you here?"

"Quinn, we need to talk," he said, scooting closer to me.

I stared at him confused for a second. Then it hit me. I had fainted from starving myself.