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The Masked Billionaire - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

The Masked Billionaire was written by taekookiecookie. It is a BTS fanfiction following Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung in a billionaire/arranged marriage plotline, though there are more layers to the puzzle like the presence of a mask (hence the "masked" in the title), familial issues, and Jungkook's internal conflict.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

First and foremost, I've been on record many times saying I'm not a huge fan of billionaire/CEO stories. I personally think most of them are cliche and follow the same story beats over and over again. However, this took the billionaire trope and did something unique with it by adding the mask. I think it's interesting that Jungkook models yet needs to marry a billionaire. It establishes early on that Jungkook's father clearly doesn't care about Jungkook much, if at all, since Jungkook has a solid career and passion for his life, so the fact that Mr. Jeon still wants an arranged marriage goes to show his selfishness and lack of faith in Jungkook, but along with that, it shows how he cares more about reputation than family as well.

I'm also glad Jungkook actually stands up for himself about the arranged marriage and isn't scared to tell his father off/call him out for the awful things he's done throughout Jungkook's life. Most mcs are too scared to stand up to their parents and call them out for their terrible actions, and it gets a little cliche after a while, especially in arranged marriage stories. Most of the mcs just run off and complain then get over it when they see how attractive their future spouse is, but I'm glad that doesn't happen here and Jungkook takes a stand. It's a small thing, I know, but it not only fits with Jungkook's rebellious character, but it also gives the audience a sense of satisfaction seeing a mc who isn't scared to defend himself in front of his father.

Similarly, I'm glad Jungkook shows emotion while doing it and isn't just yelling and screaming. The amount of angry Jungkooks I've seen in fanfics where being angry is his only personality trait makes me roll my eyes and it's the reason I rarely read BTS fanfics unless it's for reviews. Too many cliche Jungkooks. This one has more personality, and during the confrontation, he actually showed emotion and wasn't scared to show said emotion, which was nice. He wasn't just yelling the whole time or punching walls, he was sad, lonely, and spiteful, but more lonely than anything else, which also makes it easier to believe he'd have a successful relationship with Taehyung even after an arranged marriage he's strongly against. The loneliness foreshadows that. Also, just to clarify, I don't mean he's lonely romantically. He seems lonely in general.

I like Jungkook's father. Alright, that makes me sound like a masochist or something, but I mean I like the way he's portrayed and his dynamic with Jungkook. A lot of times, the parents are ignored in arranged marriage stories and are more plot devices than actual characters, but Mr. Jeon is a character. Whether he's morally good or bad is up to the individual, but it's clear he has many conflicting emotions that, unfortunately, strongly impacted Jungkook's childhood. I don't think he's a good person; anyone who lays their hands on their children is a bad person in my book, but that doesn't mean he's not complex and conflicted.

This is a smaller thing, but I think the chapters end well in the later parts of the story. They feel like they conclude the conflict within the chapter, and many times you'll end it with lines of dialogue that are short and to the point, which makes it easy to read and process, making it easier on the reader's imagination. Overall, the later parts of the story do a good job wrapping up chapters with their last few lines of dialogue/paragraphs.

Lastly, and probably most importantly, Taekook. I overall like the Taekook in this narrative and how you portrayed their dynamic. They bounce off one another well, and there were many fun scenes where it was entertaining to see the way they interacted, like in chapter 17 when Jungkook wakes up and Taehyung kinda makes fun of him for asking "Did you put me in the bed?" Jungkook, no duh Taehyung would do it, who else? It was funny to see Tae actually say that, and then the following scene was fun to read as well.