Born to Fly

Secrets - ✔

"When are you going to stop lying to me?"

"Hmm?" I blink awake to find my brother inches away from my face. "Jesus!" I screech, hoisting myself up. "What are you talking about?"

I can only imagine how much of a train wreck I really look like. My hair feels knotted, the shirt I wore last night is all tangled around my limbs, and there's a string of drool dripping down my chin.

He sets a mug on the coffee table. "You've been asleep for sixteen hours."

I think of myself as an early riser. No matter how late I get to bed, I've always been up and at 'em by eight. The only time I've slept past one in the afternoon was when I had the flu in high school. Sleeping to five in the evening is definitely a warning sign.

"Oh?" I ask behind the cup. "Work really must be tough, then. It's all those long nights at the hospital. The night shift is a wicked adjustment."

"You're not fooling anyone," he says. "Tell me what's really going on."

"Everything's fine, really." Sweat collects on my brow. The pressure of my secrets can only weigh me down for so long. How long until I collapse? I feel it brimming at the edge of my mouth, but I'm not ready for him to hate me.

After the eventful night at Oswald's, I should've prepared myself for this encounter.

"I want you to be honest with me. Before you answer, I want you to know I've already talked with Harvey and Lee."

And what could Lee possibly know? She met me for an hour. Harvey, on the other hand, has me quite worried. He promised not to spew the secrets but he said he wouldn't be a part of it all blowing up, either.

"What'd they say?"

"Harvey said you invited him to dinner to vent."

"And?"

"He wouldn't tell me details, but he's worried that you might be involved in a gang."

"And Lee?"

"She thinks you're hiding something," he says.

"Oh," I laugh, "since she knows me so well."

He rolls his eyes. "She noticed your lying ticks and I did too. Give it up. We know you're keeping something from us."

When I turn my gaze onto Jim's, I can't help but cry. Except, I don't cry for the reason he's thinking. The tears are for my guilty conscious. This is what comes from keeping deadly secrets. My brother's face blurs behind my wet eyes. I can never tell him about my involvement. It will destroy me.

His face remains cold, unaffected by my sobbing. Heartbreak is evident in his posture, but he refuses to give into it. Maybe my secrets are ruining him even more than they're affecting me.

"Jim," I say, pulling myself together. "Don't try to save me from this."

He stands. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not a broken toy that you have to fix. I'm not in danger." I'm technically not so long as I stay loyal to Falcone, and so long as he keeps his nose out of it. "Please don't run in to save the day."

Jim looks around the house. His lips purse into a line. I prepare myself for his next lecture, but it never comes. "I will find out the truth one way or another. I'm your brother, Sera. I'm going to help you in any way I can. If you're in with the mob, I can get you out⁠—"

"No, you can't. Stay out of my business, James."

"You know that's not possible." He slams the front door behind him. And so I'm left in a silence that begs for a scream.