••Ocean Eyes•• Thomas Shelby

Big Families

It was taking longer to become accustomed to my new life than I anticipated...I didn't know why I thought this was going to be easy, transitioning from the 21st century to post war 1920s Britain but adapting to their way of life was becoming increasingly difficult. 

Everything was different, the food, the way of life, everything! I missed TV, I missed chocolate and I really REALLY missed showers. I was never a bath person, I preferred an early morning shower to start the day, but now getting a bath was a big deal.

I would have to start the fire, warm the water, which took ages, then fill the bath, then sit there in front of the fire freezing. It really made me think about how much I took for granted before, a shower and some coconut shampoo really does make you day.

But there were things I didn't miss. Like Facebook, I didn't miss that. The narcissistic people from my old high school, the constant selfies and bikini pictures...I didn't miss that at all. Constantly being in touch with people and seeing their every move. But here in the small house on Watery Lane, I felt serene and calm, tucked away from the world.

But one thing was for sure, I didn't miss my family.

As awful as that sounded, I didn't miss my dad's drinking or his mood swings, and I didn't miss my mum's ignorance. I didn't miss the shouting and the feelings of being trapped. And although I was seldom allowed out without a peaky blinder following me, for the first time in a long time, I felt actually free.

The Shelby family had been more of a family that my 'other one' had ever had. John made me laugh and his antics with Esme made my days at the house go faster. Esme had become a close friend of mine, luckily, I hadn't known her long, well the other me hadn't, so I was able to build a real friendship with her one that wasn't so based on false memory. 

Arthur was great too, but he was troubled, and that made him hard to be around. Polly was like a mother to me, always fussing. John had said her daughter and son had been taken away from her years ago, her daughter suspected dead and she had taken me in as her own, even in the years before I moved in with the Shelby's.

Then there was Tommy. 

He was dark, and like Arthur, troubled. He didn't smile often, but when he did, I noticed it was at me. whether I had said something funny or dropped a spoon clumsily on the floor, he smiled for me. He would let me sit in his office and sort his papers while he worked. We didn't talk often  while he was working, but when he needed to get up and get something he would walk past my chair and brush his hand lightly through my hair.

I had never had this kind of attention from a boy, well, man. I had had boyfriends and I had kissed them and all the fluffy things that come with having a boyfriend in the 21st century, but the only one I was ever close too was Luca. but people didn't necessarily have a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' in the 1920s, there would be courtship, under the watchful eye of the head of the family and then there was marriage and a child. 

So I didn't know what Tommy and I were really, I knew were weren't engaged, and I certainly knew we weren't married, I guess we had been courting? We were allowed to sleep in the same bed as Polly allowed as the head of the house, although we hadn't done since I had 'arrived'. 

My days alone also let me think about Luca...my best friend, to be honest I didn't know what were really were...we had never called what we had official before I came here and that as because I knew he wasn't right for me. He showed me attention, kissed me softly and told me I was beautiful...but then he would shout at me for not texting back quick enough or when I talked back to him when he had upset me. He would pull me by my arm when I tried to walk away, then he would try and sooth the damage done with kisses.