I run my hand through his hair wiggling my fingers in his soft brunette locks. I grip a few strands between my fingertips and tuck them hard making him give me a deep groan.
"I'll prefer it if you'll leave some strands of hair on my head not gonna lie babe, " his voice muffled by the pillow.
"Don't worry handsome. I'm pretty sure you'll still be pretty without any hair on your skull but I do prefer you with hair, not gonna lie handsome, " I laugh softly and scratch his neck.
"Mm, that feels good keep scratching me kitten, " he moans.
"Come on handsome we can't stay in bed all day."
I move closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder.
"Why not? Who's going to stop us?"
"No one but we need to be more productive"
"Jesus kitten are you in heat or something? Four rounds technically just a few hours ago aren't enough for you?"
I don't even respond with words to that. I grab his hair and harshly tuck them back.
"Ouch!" he swaps my hand away from his hair.
"Yeah, well that's what you get when you say stuff like that."
I lay back on my back with my head to the side looking at him as he turns his head to state at me.
"What was you're childhood like?" he asks me suddenly.
"Theirs really nothing much about my childhood. I'm quite lucky. I had quite an easy time growing up. I had my group of 5 friends. I was an average student in school never getting in trouble. I loved to listen to music and watch movies. I like lounging around my room most of the time reading books or something. I didn't have a lot of ups and downs. My parents are still together and even though they argue sometimes they love each other more than ever. I have 2 siblings to watch my back and annoy. I have a very loving and caring family. My mum practically doesn't even need me to tell her that something is going on she already knows."
I push back a few strands of hair that fell on his forehead, looking into his deep dark blue colour eyes with specks of vibrant green. I love how every day it seems like his eyes are a different tone of blue and green.
"I bet your childhood is a lot more interesting than mine. I don't want to push you to tell me anything about it but I won't deny that it would be nice to get to know you better, " I offer him a smile which he doesn't return looking already lost in memories from his past.
"The only thing I know about my biological parents is that they had me when they were still in high school, so they couldn't take care of me. They try from what I know for a couple of years but they did an awful job at that. So, a neighbour one-day called childhood services and they came to inspect. Seeing that I'm here right now they didn't pass so they took me away. I was passed around between 3 families my current one being the third and final one. I don't remember much from my first family. I was very young they only thing I remember is that they were much much better than my second one, " he stops and looks away from my eyes turning his back to me.
I don't say anything and just rub his back in a hopefully soothing manner. I know this isn't easy on him and I don't know if he ever opened up about his past to anyone before or if this is the first time.
(Trigger warning ⚠️ abuse is being discussed don't read this if it's triggering! Skip ahead)
"The couple that was supposed to take care of me and love me show me the exact opposite. They only got me to show off to their parents that they were actually doing something with their lives and that they're mature and all grown up. I was a trophy the wanted to shove in others peoples faces. I was exactly that. A not even gold trophy more like bronze with mould on for them, " he takes a few minutes to calm down as he has the pillow in a death grip.
"You can stop anytime you feel like it's too much, is okay I'll understand, " I say keeping my voice on the low.
"It's okay I think I can do this, it's about time I get this off my chest and throw it in the bin, " he takes a deep breath and continues.
"They would tie me to the bed whenever I did something wrong or upset them or didn't clean good enough for them. The man that doesn't even deserve to be named would wipe me with his belt to discipline me. Whenever they had friends over they will lock me in my room for the whole day without food or water, sometimes they'll forget about me for a couple of days. Other times when he didn't have a belt on he would burn cigarettes on my arms. Those are another reason I'm insecure about my body. They're ugly and a constant reminder of the past. I had nightmares for years never going away for too long."
I move closer to him and for the first time really pay attention to his body especially his arms and soon enough I spotted the small circle burn scars. I gently run my fingers up and down his arms.
I wish those small burns were the only thing I discover on his skin but I couldn't ignore the faint small scars on the inside part of his arm and wrist.
I have an idea what those were but it would be a question for another day.
"They're not ugly and instead of a reminder of the past, you should look at them and think about how you survive, cause these scars just show how strong you are, " I run my other hand in his hair until I hear a sob emerging from him and his body shaking.
(Triggering conversation ends here)
I move and immediately wrap my hands around his waist, bringing my body flush up against his back with our legs intertwined. I shove my head on his shoulder as I let him cry his heart out in my embrace. The river of tears falling from his eyes at a rapid speed.
The overflowing water gathered at his beautiful eyes and the sound of his choked up sobs break my heart little by little.
"I'm proud of you, " I whisper in his neck before placing a kiss there.
He's one of the strongest people I've ever met and I know that unfortunately, they're a lot more people with a story like his in the world.
A/N
Hey guys, I hope you're all doing well!
This chapter is not a happy one.
Trigger warnings have been given when the conversation changes.
Axel finally opens up a little bit more about his childhood and dive a bit deeper into the pain that he's been through.
If you're in a toxic or abusive environment whether that is a relationship, friendship or family as well as if you're struggling mentally please seek professional help and get out of there.
If you're not comfortable talking to a friend or family member about what you're going through, they're a lot of helplines to talk to someone.
When you do feel comfortable please seek professional help.
I would list some helplines I found below feel free to correct me if the number is wrong and provide more helplines if you know any.
National domestic abuse helpline:
0808 2000 247
they have an online chat service as well if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.
National suicide prevention lifeline:
1-800-273-8255
National Alliance on Mental Health helpline:
800-950-NAMI or in crisis text "NAMI" to 741741
Feel free to contact me if you want to talk about anything. I'm always available ❤️
I hope you have a nice day and night! Xx
All the love - M ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Axel
Romance"You don't like it rough?" he asks me. Oh, okay, I smirk back at him, two can play this game. "I like it... but only during sex, " I say to him watching as his smirk drops and eyes widen just for a split second. "What? Didn't expect that?" I ask...
