The Goodbye Note

Chapter 1

Song for the chapter Daydreaming by Rosa Pullman

***

Four Months Later

Losing my sister has been one of the hardest times of my life. She was my best friend and my better half. I need to accept her death, but I can't. She was the only person I could trust with my life, she was the only person I couldn't live without. Yes I'm here and I'm alive, but I haven't truly lived since the day that I lost my best friend.

"Hey Em, are you ready to take on senior year?" Mackenzie asks as Dan and Xander meet us in front of the school.

No. Me and Emma were supposed to walk into our last year of high school together. We were supposed to walk in with our best friends. The five of us were the ones who would be walking this hall, not the four of us.

I take a deep breath, "As ready as I can be," I tell Mack and the boys.

Dan puts a hand on my shoulder, "Hey it's what she would've wanted. For us to be here and enjoy our last year as much as possible." I know he's right, I know that's what Emma would want. But just because she wanted it doesn't make it any easier.

They all nod their heads. "I agree 100% but I just feel like I'm betraying her." I say but don't add how I think she deserved to be here more than me. She was always kinder to people than I could ever be.

"Okay so what clubs are we doing and are we staying in the surfing club this year?" Xander asks. I know he is trying to distract us from the fact that Emma isn't here but I think he is distracting himself more than anyone else. Xander and Emma dated for two years, he's beating himself up over the fact that he was going to drive Emma and I that night to Mack's party but Emma suggested that we should invite our parents so he ended up driving himself.

"Oh definitely the surfing team, and Emily what do you say about us joining the cheerleading team, it could be like our thing? Quality time?" Mack asks me.

"Nope. Absolutely not. I'm not going to do flips in some tiny skirt just for the amusement of the crowd." I told her as we make our way to our first period.

She frowns, "Oh come on, if you're a cheerleader you could probably find a super cute guy to date."

I scoff, "I don't want a boyfriend and I definitely don't need to be a cheerleader to get one." I probably do need to be a cheerleader to get a boyfriend. I've never had one. The only boy I've ever liked, liked someone else. So I just got over him and ignored the feeling in my stomach every time that I saw them together.

"Okay true. But maybe I just want you to cheer so we could have some quality time without these two boneheads." She says as she laughs. Neither of the boys heard her, they are in some deep conversation about some football team, they always argue over which team is better. I think whichever team wins is better, and that's it.

"We'll see, but only because I agree with the quality time thing, not because I want nor need a boyfriend," I tell her, "well class starts soon so I'll see you at our regular lunch spot?"

"Yeah."

"For sure."

"See you then."

They all answer at the same time, which makes us laugh. Maybe that's the good thing about best friends, no matter what you are going through they always find a way to make you laugh. They find a way to make you not feel as bad about whatever you're going through. They don't let you go through anything alone. Ever.

***

"And then Mr.Devil, also known as Mr.Denon, paired me up with Sally. The Sally who forgot how to spell her name last year. How do I work with someone who can't even spell her own name? Like what does he expect me to do? I can't do all the work. But yeah how was your day?" Mack explains then asks. I laugh then she laughs.

The boys get to the table and look at us like we lost it, maybe we have. "Are you guys okay? Emily! Are you crying? Mackenzie what did you say. Is she crying because she's laughing or laughing because she's crying?" Xander asks as he places his lunch on the table and sits down in front of us.

"You can calm down, we haven't lost it, yet. And she's crying because she's laughing and she's laughing because... well why are you laughing? I'm laughing because we all know how contagious Emily's laugh is." Mackenzie explains to both of the boys.

"I was laughing because... well I don't know why I was laughing either. Okay maybe we have lost it." I told Xander and Dan as they both looked at me like I was insane. Maybe I am, the last sane day I had was when Emma was still here. And that was four months ago.

They both laugh which makes me laugh then Mack, and it is all happening again. None of us are okay, the day we all lost Emma was our last okay day. But Emma always did say 'If you don't laugh through the hard times, how will you survive them.' She was always the wise one.

Mackenzie starts poking my stomach and asks, "So, have you decided if you were going to join the cheer team?"

"You gave me four hours to think, in what world is that enough time?" I don't want to cheer, I don't want any chance to be happy. It's not fair how I'm here smiling and enjoying time with my best friends and Emma's gone maybe even watching us laugh.

"In the world where cheer tryouts are in three hours." Mackenzie says as she smiles. "Please Em, you don't even know if you'll make it, maybe you won't."

I roll my eyes, "Me and Emma did gymnastics until the.. well you know, I'm pretty sure I would make it. I could probably do more flips than the whole team combined." I'm not trying to brag but I'm just telling Mack there's no way that I can't make the team.

She winces, "You're probably right." Completely ignoring my moment of sadness, which I am very grateful for. "Oh my gosh what if you end up making the team and I don't."

"Then I would quit."

"So that's a yes? Here let's make a deal. If one of us makes it they have to quit, but if we both make it we have to stay." She proposes. She was on the team last year, so she'll make it easily. So it looks like we're both going to join the team for our senior year.

I groan, "Fine. But I'm not going to like it." She squeals. Maybe forcing me to come out of my shell is a good idea. And maybe it isn't. But you'll never know until you try it, so that's what I'll do.

***

Oh I wanted to add something, if you make covers then I was hoping someone would want to make aesthetics for each chapter. Thank you!

Well there's chapter 1 for you. So what do you think? Are they gonna make the team? Is Emily going to have a good school year?

Lots of love, emma<3