SMILE ✔︎

W A S I T W O R T H I T

W A S I T W O R T H I T

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A U G U S T 1 9 , 1 9 9 8

ringing...

Ringing was all I heard along with the faint sounds of somebody speaking in the distance as though I were in a box and they were outside of it, rubbing it in my face that they weren't the one in the box...

My leg bounced up and down. I sat in the hospital chair, my eyes looking into nothing but everything surrounding me all at once. It was terrible, I felt numb and like nothing would change anything.

My stomach was still churning and my eyes hadn't stopped crying for the last six hours... they just leaked and leaked until they dried out and then I just cried again.

It was 12:00 am, Kelca's entire family was in the waiting room, her dad pacing back and forth and her mom staring at the floor with her knees up to her chest.

"Fuck!" Her dad screams, the nurses shush him but he just shakes his head. It was a small town, only us were in here and a few visitors for people hurt during the hurricane. So I didn't care what happened or what they said, I only cared that she was okay.

She was the only thing on my mind... and she had been dead for at least three minutes when somebody finally saw us.

I was still just holding her in my arms. Crying as more blood slowly leaked down her cheeks.

I only tune into some type of sound when I hear a dreadful scream of pain from Kelca's Mother, and sobs followed afterwards. My lips part as I look at the floor, listening for a second more..

"The pre-existing condition Kelca had plus putting that much strain on her lungs made her severely at risk, I'm not sure what we could've done-"

I stand up staring at her, "Is she okay?" I ask and the doctors eyebrows furrow.

"Well... Kelca's pre-existing condition-"

"What condition?" I ask while Kelca's mother sobs. Trent states into nothing, looking up at me and lightly saying. "Kelca had always talked about how she felt this way she couldn't explain... I don't know why she didn't tell you but apparently it got worse so I assume she knew it was ending soon-"

"What was ending?!" I ask in a growl, turning to the doctor with my teeth clenched and my breathing heavy.

I felt like I knew what they were about to say.. and I hated it.

What I also hated though was the fact that Kelca didn't tell me... I don't care whether or not she had a disease or no hair and I don't care about anything really as long as I get her...

"Well Kelca had previously existing lung cancer which was getting to around stage two, pretty good, but the fact that they hadn't found out meant she already didn't have a good chance. I assume that this cancer has popped up from a radiator or a boiler room in one of her previous living spaces. But the impact the water had on her lungs was severe and her last doctor didn't know about her condition so he let her go. Kelca had what is called a large scale hemoptysis, coughing up 3/4 of a cup or more of blood, which has a mortality rate of 80%... Mister Jewwly... Kelca Kellinoals has passed.."

When we met she fell into my arms like a literally angel or a present that my parents from above had given me.... she kept falling and it just made me know I needed her. I needed to show her me and just trust the process....

Soon enough she kissed me on the dock on the way to get tattoos.... she looked at a magazine for rings while we were there, staring at the pretty one and that was when I planned when to get it.