Someday Soon (wlw)

s3 e19

November 13th, 2015
(crossover)

"oh Alex," aunt Rachel exclaimed, her arms extended. "how are you feeling, sweetheart?"

i smile, hanging my head down low, "im well, not in the best shape but i manage. how are you?"

"im okay, im okay," she eyes me closely, resting a hand on my shoulder. "do me a favor alright?"

i lift my brow, "hm? what can i do for you?"

"keep an eye on my bald head brother please? he tends to hold his emotions in and try to handle them all by himself. but remember to take care of yourself as well, take care of each other, alright?"

i nod, "yes ma'am, i will make sure of that. thank you."

"you're welcome, baby," she smiles, planting a kiss upon my forehead. "ill see you soon."

nodding, i watched as she walked out of the door, shutting it off behind her. i could honestly feel the pain in my chest, it ached.

countless nights i cried, just couldn't shake the fact that she was really gone. i had nightmares even, if it couldn't get any worse.

but i was managing, i had to.

"you hungry?" Ava asked as i entered the kitchen. "and are you okay? you look gloomy."

"yes, yes i am, and im fine, thank you for asking."

"are you sure?" she glances at me, her brows lifted.

i nod, "i am, yes."

"okay, okay, uh what would you like to eat? grilled cheese?"

"yes, that'll work. could you put it in the microwave for me? im gonna take a quick shower."

she nods, "yes i can, go on, take your time."

i took a breath, making my way out of the kitchen and off up the stairs. walking up these stairs felt really draining but it wasn't like we had an elevator.

i wanted nothing more than to just collapse into the bed and sleep but i knew Ava would just wake me up to eat.

lord help me.

turning the water on, i stood there as i watched the water fill the tub. the clear water swaying back and forth as it continuing filling up, astonishing sight.

i sigh, pulling my attention up to the mirror as i watch myself. i looked tired, the bags under my eyes started to show more and more.

"i need some sleep," i mumble, turning the water off. slowly i began stripping from my clothing, dropping them to the floor. "praying this relaxes the tension in my bones because i really do need it."

stepping into the water, i slid down into the tub as my body began to relax, "this feels amazing, geez."

shutting my eyes, i extended my legs as i stretched myself throughout the tub. rubbing my hands through my hair, i inhaled deeply.

pulling my head under the water, a shiver ran down my spine as the water ran down my back. i tensed up as i pulled my hair back, sniffing softly as my eyes shut.

"mom," i whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek. "gosh, i can't..i can't deal with this, any of this."

my heart ached, i was truly overwhelmed and it had barely been one day..kind of. i buried her...i really buried my mom.

my heart was filled with happiness as i thought of her now resting easy..no more pain, mom.

standing, i stood under the water letting the soap run off of me. "how am i supposed to do this without you mom..?"