The Music In My Heart

Chapter 37

Carter's pov

I'm not sure what's with Dr. Simmon's approach in therapy but here i am walking through the doors of the empty one and only Broadway building here in New York.

I go past the entry and there she was sitting in a chair adjacent to the piano bench and piano was present- I could feel my eyes sting just knowing I can't play it.

I want to play- now..

"Carter, make yourself comfortable," she smiled brightly and I just shook my curls a loose to brush off the nerves and chills.

I adjusted the brims of my denim jeans to fall nicely on my white air forces and stuck my hands in my pockets of my grey hoodie..

Oh- I need water, she did say get comfortable.

I almost choked as I found myself chugging it from my hydro flask and I snapped the lid on holding the flask in between my legs and using my left arm- thank god I'm ambidextrous in certain areas.

"How are we feeling?" She clicked her pen and took off her glasses.

"Why did you want to meet here," I glared at the piano..

"This is your natural habitat is it not? This place is where you're most comfortable," she reasoned.

"This is where majority of my anxiety attacks and trauma takes place, are you kidding me?" I kept my tone in check to address my point of view.

"Disregard those experiences and memories. Is this not your happy place? You have no emotion towards being here? Carter, you're glaring at the piano with utter resentment and that alone is proof you still have a strong connection with performing. The resentment you have isn't with music- not even in regards to your injury. It's towards yourself because now you have to adjust with not doing the thing you love the m-

"Stop it!" I broke down in tears and started sobbing.

Dr. Simmons handed me a tissue and scooted here chair closer to the piano bench.

"I- just want to play," I winced in between sobs and she pulled me into a tight hug.

"You will Carter, I know for a fact you will," she whispered into my ear and rubbed my back in circular motions.

"You can play right now. You just have to take that chance," she gestured her hand towards the keys and I blinking away tears confused as ever.

"I can't play," I muttered.

"Play one note," she softly instructed.

My left hand trembles as I continue to reach for the keys and I was crying even more than before.. I quickly inhaled and held my breath as my hand touched the polished ivory...

My eyes flashed open as a single note brought me so much clarity..

"Why do I actually believe you and I don't even know you?" I quickly nuzzled my head into her shoulder holding her tighter.

"Because deep down you know it too," her words sent a chill down my spine.

She's right.

I will play again.

And it'll be because I want to..

"Let's wrap up this cry fest shall we?" I hear her softly giggle but she was sniffling from crying as well... she's worked with patients before, she has experience with trauma, I know it; yet... she cries.

"You can feel emotions like a musician plays their instrument," I gathered myself and heard her softly gasp.

"There's a difference between empathy and sympathy. However, I may not understand your pain, I can sure as hell feel it," she quickly wiped her tears.