Mourning a Loss ~ { Life With Rika and Kyojuro }

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My eyes opened, and the room was bright. Kyojuro was lying beside me, his arms still around me. I shuffled closer to him and his eyes opened. His gaze met mine, and he smiled, pulling me in close and hugging me.

"Kyo..." My voice was hoarse.

He let go of me and jumped up off the bed. "I'll grab you some water. Would you like something to eat? It is late in the morning. You are likely hungry."

I sat up, and Kyojuro was standing in the doorway, waiting for my response.

"Yes, I bet Master made something for..." I trailed off, realizing what I was saying.

Kyojuro's smile faded, and he walked back to the bed. I looked at the floor, remembering that Master was gone.

He put his arms around me again and pulled me up. "Let's go to the kitchen. We can make something for breakfast together."

"Miso soup sounds good." I mumbled.

"Good idea!" He shouted.

The shout of excitement made me smile. Only Kyojuro would get this excited about food.

I stood up and took a step, then got dizzy and collapsed to the floor. I felt like I was falling into a hole. One that was an endless pit. And everywhere I stepped was a giant hole waiting to swallow me.

His voice was barely an echo in my head. All the lessons, all the laughter. It was distant and almost felt like he had never existed to begin with. Master. Why? I wasn't ready for this. I sat there and stared at the floor, not knowing how much time was passing.

Kyojuro Rengoku

I observed as she struggled. My heart broke for her. Two things I knew for certain. That I would be there for her through this. And that if anything ever happened to me... Tomioka would be there for her. I would ask it if him. I did not want her to be alone. This was troublesome to watch. I knelt and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Rika. I understand that this is difficult for you, but you're strong. Your first few days without him may be difficult, but keep this in your mind. I am here, you have me, and you will have me for as long as I live."

I held her hands and pulled up enough to encourage her to stand. She stood, though, was wobbly, and I put an arm around her waist. I walked forward, bringing her out of the room with me, and towards the dining room.

She sat at the table and I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I had to keep tasting it as I made it; I was too hungry to hold back. When it was finished, I had set it out on a tray and carried it to the dining room.

Rika was lying her head down on the table, and her shoulders were shaking. I truly wished I could take this pain from her.

"Here, my love. I made four bowls of soup for you." I said.

Rika lifted her head after I put the tray down. She was silent for a moment, only staring at the bowls. Was there something amiss? I looked down at them and I saw nothing unusual. And then, catching me by surprise, Rika laughed. I couldn't help but smile at that beautiful sound.

"Kyo! You know that you're the only one who can eat four bowls of soup, right?"

I laughed. "I wanted to be sure you would be full."

"Thank you Kyo. I appreciate it. I think one bowl will fill me though. You should eat the other three."

"Thank you! I have set aside four more in the kitchen for myself."

Her laughter rang out again. "Typical Kyo. I love you."

"I love you too." I said.

I rose and went back to the kitchen and grabbed the tray with my bowls of soup and went back to the dining room. Letting myself sit and relax, I watched Rika as I devoured my soup, not realizing how hungry I was. Rika ate very slowly, and not much of it at all.

Perhaps now was the best time to do what Master Goyoka had requested of me. I stood and went to the shelf and grabbed the letter. I held it in my hands a moment before deciding that I would give it to her.

I would keep my promise. I would do everything he asked of me. I walked over and sat beside Rika, pulling her close to me, and she snuggled into my chest.

I passed the letter to her. "This is for you. From..."

"Master?" She asked.

"Yes."

She sat there, curled up against me, reading the letter. I knew what it said. Everything that was written there were words he said to me. What wasn't written was the promise I made. To make sure that Rika doesn't allow her grief to consume her. He knew his death was coming. He spoke to me about it frequently.

Just before he died, he asked me to be sure that Rika is cared for, and that he hoped she and I would remain in this house together. This house was now hers. He had stated so in her letter.

"Thank you Kyo." She said then set the letter on the table.

"You will be alright." I said, wrapping my arms around her.

"I know. With you here, I will be. Thank you for loving me, Kyojuro."

"I always will. Is there anything else you would want for breakfast?"

"No." She said, moving from my grasp and rising.

"No?"

"Let's go train." She said. "And I don't want you to go easy on me. I need to distract myself. Treat me like one of your students."

"Alright. Let's go to the yard!" I stood and took our plates to the kitchen, then went outside with Rika.

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