| Chapter Thirty-Six | Decision

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I stood and slid the door open and looked out. Giyu was approaching the house, and when he saw me, he stopped walking.

"Giyu? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I wanted to come talk to you about something that's been bothering me. Maybe that's the wrong word. It's been on my mind, and I need an answer, because you never answered me." He said.

I put my shoes on and stepped down from the porch. Giyu stepped up close to me and pulled me in for a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. The familiar scent clung to him and I took a deep breath.

"Why do you always smell so good?" I asked.

"I wasn't aware that I smell good." He said.

"Well, you do." I said.

"I need to ask you a question. About why you blushed when you saw me, and why you couldn't make eye contact with me."

I blushed again, thinking about that. I really couldn't just tell him that we fell in love in my dream. That I kissed him, and that I loved him. Because I didn't think I felt that way anymore. I had Kyojuro. My heart belonged to him.

"Well..." I didn't know how to respond.

"Do you have feelings for me?" He asked.

"I'll be honest with you, Giyu. I did at one time. It's difficult to explain. But there was a time that I was in love with you." I said.

"Did Rengoku change that?" He asked.

"Actually..."

I wasn't sure how much I should say. I wanted to be sure that he knew the truth, but the truth really was complicated.

"Well... it happened very recently..."

His eyes widened, and he looked down at me with surprise.

"You were recently in love with me? What about Rengoku?" He asked.

"That's why it's complicated." I said.

"Tell me." He said.

"Well... I had a dream." I said.

"You dream about me?"

"Well... I dreamed that Kyo died, and you... you were there for me through my grief. And then I fell in love with you. And I... I kissed you..."

"You kissed me in a dream? While you've been married to Rengoku?"

"That's also why it's complicated."

"Was it only in your dream you felt that way? Or is that why you turn red when you see me? Do you still feel that way? The way you did when I kissed you?"

"Why don't you come inside, and you and Kyo and I can talk about it?" I said.

"I need answers. I... I've loved you for a while. Because of Rengoku, I had to let go. And I tried to move on, and there was someone else for a while, but she only insults me, so that's one sided."

"Giyu, you and I will never be able to be together. I have Kyojuro, and I love him. There's nothing that will change that. And I've recently learned that not even his death would change that."

Giyu leaned forward, and his face got very close to mine. My heart began to race, and memories flooded my mind of Giyu holding me and kissing me. His scent and his arms around me.

My mind flashed back, and suddenly I remembered standing there, outside my home, while Tenjuro was inside the house and sleeping. Giyu helped me take care of him. He had just put Tenjuro down and came outside to watch me train. He took the bokken from my hand and leaned forward and kissed me.

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