Hatching

Where He Belongs

September 6th, 2017

Dawa sat there again in the front, but this time, he was in the driver's seat. Ha-Eun wanted to see if where he sat changed his mindset and so, in the last weeks, he'd been switching back and forth between the passenger seat and the driver's seat.

Ha-Eun sat in the passenger seat, starting her timer for five minutes. Dawa stared out ahead, inhaling and letting it out. His breath was shaky and Ha-Eun took note of this but said nothing. She recognized that he was concentrating and trying to keep himself together. She decided to only observe and only butt in if necessary.

In his mind, he was thinking of all kinds of things. His father, the accident, the blood, the sound of the cars, and he was starting to get frustrated. He wrapped his fingers around the steering wheel. His knuckles were starting to turn pale. He gripped it harder trying to rid his mind of those thoughts, trying to think of anything but those thoughts. Then he remembered the story by Yunji Lykois. 'Cars don't have to be bad. They can also be a safe place.' He thought. 'They're not bad if you can control them.' a tiny voice spoke in his head. He was still thinking of the other things, but this little voice seemed to be a silver of hope and he wanted so badly to listen to this soft, tiny voice but the other thoughts were so loud and so much bolder. They took up so much space but he couldn't lose that voice. 'Cars aren't bad, you're in control. The car won't do anything until you allow it to.' It kept saying. 'Cars are okay, they can be comforting and reassuring.' Dawa dared not let go of that voice no matter how loud and bold the other thoughts seemed to be, he held on.

"And that's five minutes! You did it!" Ha-Eun's voice shouted in delight. "Dawa, you did it!"

Dawa was still in a daze. "What?" He looked at her, confused but still holding on tight to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it.

"I-I did it? I stayed up front for five minutes!?" His eyes started to slowly gloss over with excitement and relief. They grew bigger as he watched Ha-Eun nod earnestly.

"You did so well! I'm so proud of you! How do you feel?" She asked, watching him stare at her.

"I did it? I did it! I- I can't believe this! I feel light."

She was smiling so much at this point that he found it a bit unsettling. He frowned a bit. His hands were still on the steering wheel. "What? You're smiling weirdly, did I do something wrong?"

"No! You're doing great, I'm just really proud of you. What do you think made you successful today?" She questioned.

Dawa stayed silent for a bit and then looked at her. "The short story we talked about and when I realized that Cars don't have to be associated with a bad memory and that I'm in charge of this car." He answered truthfully.

"That's good. So now, I'm going to tell you something. You have officially been sitting in that driver's seat for ten minutes!" She smiled brighter than before.

"Oh!" He looked around, and then quickly got out. As soon as his two feet were on the concrete, he collapsed into a squat. "This was crazy...I can't believe this." He stared at the ground. Trying to calm himself down. His heart was beating hard against his ribs, it was throbbing. He looked around, an empty parking lot, trees lining the edges, and a few birds witnessing his success.

"Hyung! Hyung! I did it!" Dawa ran into the living room where he found Do-Hwan finalizing some last-minute plans. He looked up from his work, eyes widened.

"You did it? Really?" He asked in case he misheard Dawa. Dawa nodded, eyes beaming. "Congratulations! I knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you, wait until BTS hears about this, they're going to be so happy. You should go call the members now!"