Ikeu (EN- JakeHoon)

III

Jake

*time skip*

Time flies and before we knew it, Sunghoon is off to Music Bank for filming because he's now the new MC.

It felt so foreign to me because for the first time, Sunghoon is not with us in the car to the company and also added to that, our manager gave us a heads up that Sunghoon might not be able to be consistently joining us in our public appearances like tomorrow where we will guess in a popular TV show also in YouTube.

[A/N: the events in this story can be based on true events and imaginary events for the sake of the plot. . so there are events that are true and it happened in real life and there are events that are fictional]

For today, we will be briefed for tomorrow's public appearance and also a rehearsal for a live show and lastly, a vlive to promote our latest comeback.

I am excited because we will be promoting in Music Bank and Sunghoon is the new MC so we will see him again and I cannot wait to witness his MC skills in person. He told me before how he felt pressured due to the impact Soobin hyung and Arin sunbaenim left to the viewers of the show.

After the briefing, we were then again loaded in the car as we drive to the studio to get our make ups done so as our clothes.

___

The filming began with the MCs introduction and then our introduction before we were called on stage.

We waved to the fans as we passed and bowed to the staff and the MCs who were so lively with their bright smiles. We did our gestures and then our short performance before we were seated as they interact with us.

it was going so smoothly at first but in the middle of a good conversation between me and the MC, a question suddenly made me froze for a few seconds.

"Now that Sunghoon is having a different schedule than you guys, do you have any words of encouragement for him?"

The MC isn't actually talking to me but everyone really just have to turn towards me making me MC notice.

"Jake? Looks like everyone is wanting for you to speak for the group"

We all let out laughs but my heart is pounding so much and I have no idea why. It got worse when I roam my eyes around and didnt see a certain someone who can help me calm down my nerves.

"Ah . . for Sunghoon, I would like to congratulater you for your new project and we wish you nothing but the best. . . we know you can nail it easily and we're so proud of you"

Damn it, my eyes are getting wet.

And my chest feels painful from being so tight and now, I find it so hard to breathe.

I clenched my fists before giving a fake smile to the MC who seems to buy it. My palms became so sweaty and I can't even control the sweat that is now trickling down my back.

I tried so hard to calm down which consists of me moving uncomfortably on my seat and not speaking as much as I can because I know that will be the last straw before my panic will sink in and I will make a fool out of myself.

After a few more minutes of not talking and just focusing on a certain point, the filming was finally finished and I immediately ran to the bathroom where I tried to calm my breath.

I have experiences like this in the past but when I have this experience, I can handle it but when I joined I land, it got worse. It was Sunghoon who first saw me in that state. Maybe that's the reason I feel comfortable around him. Then, when I was sent to the Ground, I had Jay with me.

But now, I don't want to bother him.

Jungwon needs him more than I do and I can handle this.

__

After the filming, we went to the dance practice room to rehearse for the new dance for the dance break.

After a few minutes of practice, I decided to contact Sunghoon because, I don't know, I feel like wanting to hear him for today.

I was about to dial his number when Jungwon spoke.

"The manager called. Unfortunately, Sunghoon is busy with something related to his MC contract so we can just practice what we have and then he can join in. . . "

With that, I turned my phone off instead. I don't want to bother him when he's busy.

We returned to practice again and this time, we practiced longer that made us exhausted. It is not an easy routine and I'm worried for Sunghoon. He might have a hard time. Then, the choreographer introduced another dance to add to the dance break and this is harder as hell. She makes it look so easy but when it is our turn to try, well, it didn't go well.

Heck, even Riki is having a hard time.

We still tried to do it no matter what and we still tried to be on beat and on time but at the end of the day, I am being left behind, just like when I was in ILand.

I just couldn't get it right no matter how much the members teach me. They're also getting exhausted so I just made them rest and pretend to understand the dance steps even if I don't. It is hard to be a burden and to burden others. Especially when we're all exhausted as hell.

Why do we even need to do another dance any way? Isn't the first one enough? We're performing on one stage but why do we have to practice like we're performing for multiple occasions?

I love what I am doing but sometimes my mind is saying otherwise.

And because of that, I ran to the bathroom and let out all the tears that has been filling my brain for the past few hours. I'm so frustrated because I don't wanna fail anyone.

______