112th Poem: Escape

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Sometimes, I sit and I wish,

an immense wish, a dramatic wish, 

a wish I'd make without thinking of the consequence.


Sometimes, 

I wish that I can escape, 

by way of a knife,

its sharp edge cutting 

the unwanted parts out. 


Maybe a noose of some kind restraining me from life, 

or a brilliant, shining heavy metallic 

object that could end all my suffering, 

a quick jump into a giant pool that'd ease my thoughts.


Sometimes.


I never try it though.

I never grab anything though.

I always cry about it though.

I always pray about it though.

I always wonder why I would have these thoughts,

wonder why I can't just stop...


Wonder why I can't escape or why 

this girl doesn't want me to try,

she'll send me verses from the Bible,

pray for me and make me cry,

try to build me up when I'm down

and I still don't understand why.


Relate to me and be real with me,

always giving me her thoughts. 

Stays one hundred with me and 

tries to be there for me,

in every way she can.


I appreciate it, I really do.

She told me today,

that there is a point in staying,

a point in continuing to be here.


I didn't mean what many might think..

death upon myself, or a cut upon my wrist.


I just... I'm just a girl with a wish..


A wish to escape.

To escape from myself.


A/N

Not gonna lie, my mind is pretty mean to me a lot of the time. I feel like I'm going crazy..

Maybe I am and I just don't know it yet. 

Disclaimer: My mind doesn't always think about this. But sometimes..

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