154th Poem: Beast

11 3 0
                                    

poem written around 4:50pm on Thursday June 25, 2020.


How can you feel beauty when you feel more like a beast?


not a good beast, a fantastic beast, a beast with a kind heart,

not a beast in the kitchen, nor a beast at any simple thing you do,

an ugly beast, a rugged beast, a beast that doesn't bring happiness,

an internal beast that sinks its dagger-like claws into you, 

blades sharp and slender like katanas, slicing and dicing,

hungry, no, starving to tear off every inch of skin off of you,

pulling, no, yanking each tiny hair follicle from its root,

claws dragging across your neck, hoping to stop your breath,

suffocating, penetrating, keeping you in a tight lock,

the claws pull apart your brain, infecting it with their poison,

you're ugly, you're too skinny, you'll never be enough,

you're doing everything wrong, you're dumb, you'll never ever be strong,

you're stomach's growing too much, your weight is dropping, but it's still not enough,

you're obviously not working hard enough, do more, do more, don't eat, don't sleep,

feed me, feed me, depress, don't confess, feel the pain, go insane- you don't deserve rest.


this beast seems like it's unable to be tamed; you're afraid.

the beast consumes you every day, 

but, somehow, 

there's a part of you that stays.


a/n

i went from 130bs to 127lbs to sitting around 120lbs.

Mind {Prose Vol. 2}✔Where stories live. Discover now