𝑀𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠 ~ 𝓙𝓲𝓴𝓸𝓸𝓴

㈥

Jeongguk's heart was hurting, bleeding even, and Jungkook could swear he felt the pool of the red liquid sprinting inside his chest. His heart was long gone, replaced with a vacuum of loneliness and regret, that he felt was just an inch away of swallowing him whole. He didn't know how and when he did go wrong, but he was so scared of the idea of never seeing Jimin again.

He probably deserved it, that's how he thought. Jimin was meant to leave him in the end. But why did he hold on onto the idea of him like it was the only thing keeping him alive? Holding on onto Jimin suddenly felt like holding on onto his own life, so powerful and raw, just like the intuituon of survival. For even if death was inevitable, even if it was close, life was always a dear thing and people held on onto its frail ropes.

Jeongguk could swear the only ropes of life he had ever seen were inside of Jimin's starry grey eyes, ropes of light, rays of sunchine, ways of the universe, broken stars and shattered angels, heaven. Name it however, but he wanted to hold on onto them with all of the strengh he has gotten. He wanted to drown in them, wanted to fall for them. He just wanted to see those eyes again.

‘Once again, I put on the mask and go to see you.’

Jeongguk never thought that after all of this years, he'll leave his castle for once. It was close to a dream, more like a nightmare. Jeongguk couldn't bear the way people were staring at him, like an outcast, a weirdo, an alien.

People scared him, made his heart race and his skin sweat, made him uncomfortable. He, for a matter of a fact, didn't like people, but he was sure that he liked Jimin. So he had to find him, hold on onto him as long as he'd stay. Jeongguk knew he'd be devastated when Jimin would eventually leave. It will kill him from the inside. But as long as it was in the hands of Jimin, maybe he didn't mind walking onto such a hideous fate all that much.

Maybe it was a miracle, or just a mere coincidence. But he saw Taehyung in the market square, walking to some destination, and he had to run after him, tapping his shoulder lightly. When Taehyung's ocean eyes met his own, Taehyung seemed to be very surprised, a gasp leaving his pillowed lips.

“Sir?” Taehyung muttered, and he didn't seem to know exactly what to say afterwards. Confusion shined from his irises, was drawn in the way his eyebrows scrouched closer to each other.

“Where can I find Jimin, please?”

Jimin, for reference, was just around the corner, for Taehyung and him were inseparable, never so far from each other. Taehyung was just about to point it out when Jimin showed up. Jeongguk didn't know what to do then that Jimin was standing right in front of him. It was like his mind refused to work, his muscles refused to move, and his tongue refused to lift up, and he just stared wordlessly for a few seconds.

“Jimin, I'm...  sorry. Please, could you just? Just come back? I won't ignore you anymore, I.. I promise.” Jeongguk whispered and Jimin found the way he spoke weirdly endearing. He almost fought the urge to smile as he stood closer to Jeongguk, but it was plainly obvious. His face couldn't seem to hide any emotion he felt, and the taller had to restrain himself from just hugging him forver and never let go.

“Okay.” Jimin said as he stared onto Jeongguk's eyes, and the latter felt like the doors of heaven opened up. The way Jimin looked at him felt just right, just like it's the way things should be. He didn't know why it made him feel safe, to just have Jimin looking at him like that. “But in one condition.. Tell me your name.”

Jeongguk smiled, his bunny teeth showing and it was nauseatingly sweet, contradicting all the parts of the black mask he was wearing. His smile was so breath-taking, like the moon gave it its bright, like stars’ scattered sparkles, like the sun shined just a bit brighter when he smiled.

“My name is Jeongguk... Would...  Would you come with me?” The question was shy, but Jimin didn't feel that he could deny anything to the sweet voice he just got to hear. Jimin unconsciously reached out for Jeongguk's hands, an inner intuition of reassurance. He wanted Jeongguk to know that it will be fine, that he wouldn't judge him, neither leave him. Jimin for some reason did want to stay in Jeongguk's proximity. But it wasn't until he sqeezed his hands that he realized what he had just done.

“Ggukie..” The words trailed off, and Jeongguk couldn't help the way his heart jumped at the nickname. “I'd come with you anytime Ggukie. You're my friend now, yeah?”

Jeongguk swore he'd tattoo that moment in his mind forever, put it in an eternal picture and frame it. With every single detail; Jimin's sweet lullaby voice, the sparkles in his eyes and how they seemed to hold galaxies, the rosiness of his round cheeks, the kisseable red shade of his lips, the way the wind caressed his dark silky strands of hair, the light touch of Jimin's fingertips right on his own, and finally, Jimin's sweet fragrance as he stood up on his toes to embrace him in a warm hug. All his fears seemed to just disappear with the angel chants enveloping his heart.

‘But I still want you.’

That day, Jimin and Jeongguk didn't part at all. Jeongguk's body was much bigger than Jimin's, but the latter was shy, and Jimin's heart almost stopped beating at the other man's spontaneous cuteness. And when Jeongguk sang him to sleep, he could swear that he heard the voice of an angel. Maybe he'd start calling Jeongguk angel boy in his mind, and just maybe, he liked him much more than he liked anything else in his entire life.

Jimin drifted off to sleep dreaming of light winged angels flying in the lilac sky above the white clouds. And of Jeongguk's unmasked face smiling upon him.

17.06.19