𝑀𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠 ~ 𝓙𝓲𝓴𝓸𝓸𝓴

㈦

Jeongguk's latibule was his garden, and his sandcastle. They were the minute space between his endless fears and his worries, and the fate to which he had condemned himself to, consciously.

It was a few weeks after he went out from his castle to bring Jimin back with him, and a few things never changed. As in Jeongguk's affection towards Jimin, and Jimin's smooth ability to add laugher and giggles to the cast alone castle.

They were getting closer, and Jeongguk felt loved, joyful, cared for. Jeongguk didn't exactly know why. It was maybe the way Jimin looked at him, the way he listened to his worries and how he could so easily reassure him, the way he hugged him, or stared at his eyes in such, oh very tender manner. Jeongguk didn't know exactly why, but he loved Jimin too, from the very bottom of his heart.

Jimin was his new garden, his light at the end of the tunnel. In the depth of despair, one could find hope, and in the twisted way Jeongguk used to find comfort in his own pain, let it out by making new types of pretty flowers, catharsis. It all changed when he laid his eyes on Jimin, he was his solstice, far away but his new mean of comfort, his new reason of life. But then that he was so close to him, Jeongguk could say this was his life's nirvana.

So if he could describe Jimin in one sentence, it would be that Jimin was so easy to love. Loving him was effortless, he needn't to think, or to act, or to hide. It just came to him, loving an angel could never be hard. And he loved him way more than he thought he was able to love anything in the world.

‘Bloomed in a garden of loneliness,
a flower that resembles you.’

Under the apricity of the winter's sun, Jeongguk was making a new kind of flowers, red and ambrosial, beautiful, just like Jimin. Jimin was his cynosure, and he wanted that same quality to reflect on the flower he'll make. He wanted them to be so captivating one wouldn't be able to hold back from touching them.

Jeongguk had also promised himself that he'll keep Jimin close no matter what. That this time, he'll give it his all. And so he didn't hold back anymore, not even in the slightest. He didn't hold back from hugging Jimin, playing with his hair, holding his hands. And Jimin didn't seem to mind at all.

They were taking a walk in the garden, when Jeongguk told Jimin to wait a few second for him as he needed to go get something. So Jimin did, his eyes roaming around the different types of roses in his close vacinity. They were so breathtakingly beautiful, bloomed even in winter, and Jimin could see the amount of care Jeongguk gave to his garden.

‘I wanted to give it to you.’

“Jimin,” The words trailed off, and Jimin turned to find Jeongguk holding a bouquet of red flowers, ones he had never seen before. They were new, radiant, and Jimin looked up from the bouquet to the sweet smile that caressed Jeongguk's face.

“I was making these with the idea of you, my sweet Minnie. Those are Camillia flowers, but they're the first of their kind to be scarlet red like this. They're extremely rare, and I hope you like them. A humble gift from me to show you my love.” Jeongguk's voice was so sweet, just like his smile, and his words, and everything else about him. Jimin was utterly touched, and he smiled as he put his hands on top of Jeongguk's hands, who rested above the nosegay of camillias.

“Ggukie, I'd really like to accept them.” Jimin started, and even though his voice was as tender as ever, slow like the summer wind, and just as warm. Jeongguk could feel an impending request hanging in the unspoken words he yet had to say. He could feel there was something else Jimin wanted to say, and for no specific reason, it seemed to tighten his chest.

“But?” Jeongguk asked, looking to the side because at that very moment, he didn't find in himself the courage to look at Jimin in the eyes.

“Can I really, for once.. look at your face while you give me something? Can you please take off the mask.. For me?” Jimin muttered, his hand shifted to touch Jeongguk's chin and caress it in a reassuring way. "I'd never judge you, you know right? I love you."

Jeongguk was very lost at the request, and he was undoubtedly just as scared. Jimin never saw his face, and he dreaded the inevitable moment when he knew he'd ask him to let him see it. He dreaded it and now it finally came, and he had to face it, even when he wasn't ready at all.

The velleity of showing who he truly was to Jimin had passed through his mind for once or twice, but he never could find the courage.

Jimin was his wonderwall, he found himself thinking about him all the time, about his plump luscious lips, the scattered stars in his grey eyes, and the softness of his midnight hair, the sweetness of his voice, the purity of his heart and all the love he had for the world, even when it was always cruel to him. He knew it was unfair he saw all about Jimin, but that he didn't allow him to see anything about him in return.

He knew that Jimin would eventually ask, and of this moment he was very afraid. He was utterly moonstruck by Jimin, and maybe if he weren't too hard on himself, he would see that Jimin was just as moonstruck by him. But Jeongguk was so used to believing he wasn't good enough to even entertain the idea in his mind.

“Please..” Jimin asked again, and the moondust in his eyes made it very hard for Jeongguk to focus. It was like the entire universe was inside those irises, swinging and meddling, sad, and Jeongguk did never want to see Jimin sad like that.

‘After I take off this foolish mask.’

“You can take it off.” Jeongguk surrendered, and for some reason, he knew he already lost the moment Jimin asked. It was the very veridity of Jimin's existence that did wonders to his heart, that made him give in that easily. Jeongguk would give him a peace of the moon if he asked, he would give him the world if he could.

Jeongguk could feel the mask fall down, and he closed his eyes, as if afraid of the sunshine, as if afraid of the very look on Jimin's moondust eyes. He could feel the latter's fingers on his face, his golden touch that was much like an anodyne, just as tender and loving.

“You're so beautiful..” Jeongguk did in no way expect hearing those words coming from Jimin's lips. “Why do you hide all of this beauty from me? I'm upset.”

And Jeongguk opened his eyes, to stare at Jimin with utter disbelief but all he could see was the genuiness in Jimin's face, and for a moment, he almost believed it. But It wasn't even a second before he found himself closing his eyes again, this time for a whole different reason.

He didn't expect to feel Jimin's plump lips on his own, not at the very moment of his crippling insecurity. He always thought that Jimin's lips were so pretty, looked so soft and appealing, but their touch was far softer, far more mesmerizing than what he could ever believe.

And there it was, in the middle of the flower garden, with the beautiful nosegay of scarlet camillias pressed in between their bodies. As the sun sat in a beautiful twilight of the nacarat sky, they kissed for the very first time.

17.06.19