I Want To Be A Criminal *vhope*

I need you

Jhope pov.

Soon it got late at night ,the rest of the night was just quit and peaceful,who thought that getting your self into all that shit can still alow you to have a peaceful night ,though am sure it's not always like that.

Me and tae just chilled all day ,when I asked him about work he said he prefers to work late at night when it's just the night sky and him .

Even though my heart is dead I still sometimes feel bad for this guy , it's just, you probably have never seen him smile before cause he's always just blank,not showing any emotions,dull .

But you never seen how he smiled and laughed when watching his favorite movie.

He looks so Young and inocent ,no wonder he hid his happy face from people,the world is horrible or in better words just straight up trash , people are bad and always waiting for the chance to use you and take advantage of every blood drop in your body.

Tae has this adorable smile that makes him look like a child,from a board ass business , Mafia leader guy to an adorable normal 20 year old witch isn't far from his real age kind of .

He has this cute boxy smile showing some purly white teeth and when he laughs,a totally different tone ,from a deep spoken man to  a cute kinda squeaky laugh.

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It was 3am ,tae got up then ,and headed to his room ,the sound of the lock closing was Heard.

At this moment all of the sudden and tbh at this point it's normal ,my muscles just tensed up and I started having that urge,this feeling that you just want to punch the nearest wall as hard as you can .

Why was I mad ,I don't know ,I don't have to be mad to feel that way ..........it just happens,just like when I all of the sudden run to the bathroom and start shredding my wrist,there is no reason for it or sadness behind it , it's just weird.

I started  scratching my arms in hope that I could get rid of that feeling.

But I just ended up losing my mind and punching the wall hard enough to get my fists nube to the point where I couldn't feel anything any more, one punch after the other ,I was shouting like a mad man after a while it's kind of like I regained my consciousness ,I slowly stoped punching the wall though still having that urge to keep on going.

I held my hair almost pulling on it and inhaling and exhaling ruffly.

Was I losing my mind?

Think that's too late to ask ,cause the answer is yes ,and I don't think there is a way back .

There could be ,but I just know my end is soon ,way sooner than I could have hoped for ,way sooner than anyone could have expected.

But who cares,no one ,I have no one ,fuck my life why not end it now .would anyone notice?,how long would it take for them to realize? Would they just find my decaying body ? Would I just die now and get buried beside my father tomorrow?

All of this was going in my head , it's one of those days.

I got up ,but fell to my knees ,I was sick ,I was tired.

"Plan B it is ?" Jhope said as he looked down at the ground hands on his legs as if in praying position.

He got out his phone ,opened his phone case and there ............there was a blade,you know those Sharp blades that people used to shave with and stuff,yeah that one .

At this point jhope was some where else slowly dragging the blade closer and closer to his wrist.

First cut ......

Second cut .........

Third cut.........

Fourth c..............

The blade  fell on the ground,blood staining the white carpet and the blade used .

His hands dropped to his sides and his whole body followed dropping to the ground.

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Jhope pov.          (Again)

My eyes opened to see a gray ceiling.

"Fuck ........FUCK ........FUCK ......FUCK .....
WHY........WHY ...." I started shouting, shouting so loude that I think the whole place could hear me

Tears fell out I just couldn't hold it okay .

There was a vase beside me ,I took it and smashed on the ground.

Seconds later the place was a mess everything just broken into pieces.

I returned back on the bed pulling on my hair like crazy and crying.

It's been years since I cried.

The door slowly creaked open reveling tae .

He slowly steped in and closed the door behind him .

He then came up to me and ...............and hugged me !?

"You ......you saved me .......you were the one who saved me right ?..........why ?........... couldn't you just leave me "I sobbed as he hugged me more .

"Because I need you "he whispered as he hugged me more .

What did he just say ?     Did he just say that he needed me ?

Am just gonna give up on getting any sort of response from y'all sooo yeah .

Hello