SURVIVE (THRIVE: Book Two)

Chapter 93- Forgiven Sins

"I know what I've become, and I can't change back to who I once was, but it turns out the part of me that remembers what it means to love someone is still alive... Sometimes we take the best option we're given and ask for forgiveness later.... I'm not asking you to change how you feel about me, but I hope that in some way that proves to you that I wasn't lying when I told you I felt that way about you... You happen to be a goddess unlike anyone I have ever encountered."

Something happens when a soul permanently leaves this world, and when you are the guiding force that breaks it free, you're left with echoes of its past as it disappears into nothing. When I took Tatia's life, I heard desperate pleas of rage, but I didn't realize that they weren't towards me; they were memories. As Lucius's soul fades to dust, I can hear the things that were most important to him in the end; the feelings he held dear. Despite centuries of avarice and bloodlust, he finally had an awakening to his true self, and though I couldn't give him what he wanted, I'm glad I could at least make him feel human one last time.

"Her nose won't stop bleeding, do you have another rag?" my mother asks worriedly as I feel her touching my face. I can feel the blood running out of my nose, and for some reason, my forehead feels wet.

"Here," Roxie responds, and suddenly I feel her brush it under my nose "She looks sweaty still, do you think her fever went down?"

"I think so," Calista says, and suddenly I feel a bubble of water resting over my forehead "Wait, I think she's finally back," she states, moving the water away.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" my mother asks frantically, moving the cloth away and gently shaking my shoulder.

"M-mom?" I stutter, shivering as I start to blink my eyes. I feel feverish and have cold chills, I'm guessing that took more of a physical toll on my body than I thought that it would. As I open my eyes, I see that I'm lying on the floor.

"It's okay, you're back," she says in relief, reaching over to hold me "You did it, you're safe now." she starts to cry, and I feel my eyes begin to well up with tears.

"Breeze?" my father asks hesitantly from across the room.

"If you're going to yell at me, now's not the time," I say irritatedly as I hug my mom, starting to bury my face in her shoulder.

"He won't, I promise." my mother explains, holding me tightly "You were gone for six hours, what happened in there?" she asks worriedly.

"He wanted to show me everything," I sigh, sitting up more comfortably as I wipe my nose, seeing the smeared blood on my fingers "He used to be so-"

"Stop." Calista suddenly interrupts from behind us "You don't have to explain anything if you don't want to." she explains, and I can hear the pain in her voice.

"I agree, as much as I despise what he's done, this is between her and Lucius." Roxie explains, and I suddenly look back to where he had been sitting, but his body is gone "Before you ask, we thought it would be best to move him while you were still unconscious."

"How long was I out after... you know." I ask nervously.

"About an hour." my mother sighs, stroking my hair "Your energy is strong, but I don't think your body is used to pushing itself this hard."

"Can I say something?" my father interjects, and everyone else looks at him judgementally.

"Brother, I swear to god-" Roxie begins.

"It's not like that," he sighs as he approaches us "Sweetie, I know how hard it was for you to do what you did. I'm not saying that I regret trying to stop you; you have to understand that I'll stop at nothing to protect you and your mother. Despite that, that was by far the bravest thing you have ever done." he explains in tears.

"I don't feel brave," I sigh, looking down at the blood on my hand "Whether or not it's been the right thing to do, I've taken lives, and I can't give them back."

"Maybe," Roxie sighs "But in the end, it's for the greater good. Think about how many lives have been lost as a result of all of this. I'm not just talking about the past few days, I'm talking about since the very beginning." she explains with determination.

"Still, I never saw myself as the kind of monster that could take something that can never be returned." I sigh, remembering the familiar words. Suddenly, Calista starts to chuckle.

"He really got to you, but didn't you learn anything?" she asks curiously "He knew that he was a monster for the things he did, and he embraced it because the one thing he wasn't was a liar, even to himself. But the difference between the two of you is that you are saving lives doing what you're doing. I'm not asking you to tell me, but I can probably guess that after everything he showed you, he thanked you for ending his suffering, didn't he?" she asks bluntly, and I feel the blood rushing from my face as I stare at her speechlessly.

"Where are you going with this?" Roxie asks, seeming curious as she sees my pale face. Calista seems confident as she shoos my parents away and takes my hands.

"You showed Lucius what it meant to care again and he decided to let you end his suffering. That's not a sin you committed, that was an act of mercy and you know it." she explains confidently "You're probably asking yourself, what about Tatia? She didn't get a redemption, but things aren't perfect and not everyone does. Trust me when I say she wouldn't have stopped until everyone in this family was dead, and that would have doomed everyone in the city. By taking one life, just one, you saved thousands." she states, squeezing my hands as she stares into my eyes, trying to help me understand. As I look deep into my mind, I try to reason with myself and justify things the way she has, and as hard as it is for me to accept, sometimes we take the best option we're given and ask for forgiveness later.

"I suppose you're right." I smile, looking around at the others "But, even with that in mind, I have to keep my promise."

"What's that?" my mother asks, confused.

"The past can't repeat itself," I explain thoughtfully "We need to do better than they did." Suddenly, Calista starts to get choked up.

"I agree," she states, holding back tears "We really messed things up, and all I've ever wanted is for the greed to finally stop," she explains, and my mother takes her hand.

"We're going to fix this," my mom says warmly, looking around at all of us "And we're going to do it our way." she smiles.

"Together." Roxie nods. I can't help but smile as I see the relief in Calista's eyes, knowing that after watching a thousand years of tragic history, it was finally going to come to an end.

"Together."