2018. May 20.
I had loads of nightmares in the past. I woke up screaming, I didn't know where I was, I couldn't breath, not that was any matter to me.
Literally any of that is comparable to what I have done. To that night when I went mad.
I still act crazy. Talking to my phone cause I left the diary in the house. Like this would solve anything. Like I still can do anything. But I have get through this! I have to let it out! I have to... It's not the right time for my pity tears...Oh my God! I-I... need to concentrate...
So. As I was saying that night... it was absolutely nightmarish. I didn't know what I was doing, somehow it just slipped out of my control as I thought I finally had power to decide something for myself.
I decided to ruin my life.
May 7.
The day when I wanted to talk to Nora, and ease the stess I was supressing but that obviously didn't go well. Whenever I wanted to say a word, get into the topic, I immediately lost my voice. I just couldn't speak. Nora's solution was to drink. Whiskey. Me and that devilish liquid are not a good pair.
We had fun night, though, to some extant. She was teasing me about Kazimier, saying how lovey-dovey we are and suddenly sadness hit me hard. I freaked out, called her names. I wanted to cry so much and hide somewhere. In a coffin by any chance. That didn't happen either.
I was walking back and forth in the club. I felt unbelievable anger, hatred, sadness and disappointment. I didn't know if I was disappointed in myself or her. Probably the first one. A man asked me out, and I let him lead me to the dancefloor. Like Kazimier did monthes ago.
That memory flashed in my mind and the burning pain inside my skin became stronger. This man started to dance with me. I only wanted to bite him, feel his flash submit to my fangs. His blood to run through my mouth. But he kept his distance which made me dizzy and impatient. I forget how much I drank, my sanity just vanished away with that whiskey.
It wasn't just hunger then. It was life or death. I had that delusion if I can't get to him, if I can't taste him I'll die. So when he leaned to my ears and asked: "Your place or mine?" I gave him an enigmatic smile. Ran my fingers down his neck, he chuckled. He didn't realise what I had imagined.
"Mine" I whispered.
He called a taxi. I kept my eyes on his neck. All the way home. And yes, I left Nora there. Yes, I'm a terrible friend and a terrible girlfriend. The worst there is.
We got up to the flat, I let him in. It's my place - I thought, my territory and he was nothing there to me other than meat. I pushed him to the wall. He didn't even protest, and when I deepend my fangs into his warm skin, he couldn't. The timing was impossibly perfect.
The man's body was giving up to me, he couldn't really hold himself anymore. He was weak, and scared. I heard footsteps outside. I heard a key rattle in the lock. The first thing that came to my mind was it's gotta be Kazimier! He's back!
Happiness rushed inside me. The door opened. The lights of the corridor fall on my face which was covered in the man's blood. I wild and almost maniac smile appeared on my face.
Kazmier didn't step forward. He stood there, and tried to process the sight he witnessed. The man was barely conscious, but he mumbled: "help...please...help mmme..."
Kazimier dropped his keys and whispered in horror: What?
YOU ARE READING
My first times
Vampire- So? - I whispered in his ears and I could smell his scent. - What? - Do you feel yourself in danger? - I don't see why should I - he said leaning even closer so that I could feel his breathe, moreover I could touch his pulsing vein, the life r...
